M2RB: Van Halen
You almost got stuck with 'Muscrat Wombat Love'
He plays lacrosse.
By
the delightful, Allahpundit
It’s
unclear which part he was lying about. Was it
consensual? Wombat “lovemaking” can get a little rough.
Or did it never happen at all?
Who
will believe the real victims of wombat rape now?
Arthur
Cradock, 48, from the South Island town of Motueka, called police last month to
tell them he was being raped by the marsupial at his home and needed urgent
assistance.
Cradock,
an orchard worker, later called back to reassure the police operator that he
was all right.
'I’ll retract the rape complaint from the
wombat, because he’s pulled out.
Apart from speaking Australian now, I’m pretty all right you know. I didn’t
hurt my bum at all.'
“[A]lcohol
played a large role in Cradock’s life,” according to the prosecutor, who
accepted a plea to a charge of using a telephone for a “fictitious purpose.”
Exit question: What could have tipped off the police that he was lying? Was it
the idea that he’d somehow been raped into speaking a language that
doesn’t exist?
(h/t canopfor)
'That's Retarded, Sir' Reading:
Man Arrested Twice For Having Sex With Same Horse
‘Unsafe Sex’ Takes On A Whole New Meaning…
Sexual Adventurism Collides With 25 Bike Cops, Mutual Shock Ensues
Report: Chinese Police Rescue 'Fantasy Girl' … Still “Non-Responsive,” But Back At Work
http://tinyurl.com/m9mkuds
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