Shirley Sherrod: Could There Be...an Echo Chamber?

Ms Sherrod gave a speech at a NAACP banquet at the end of March. In early April, Mr Brietbart received two clips from the speech, which was filmed SOLELY by a local television station that had been hired by NAACP to videotape the event. Mr Brietbart posted the clip of Shirley Sherrod. Chaos ensued. Sherrod was fired and it’s the fault of Fox News. Or is it? Herewith a case study of Fox Haters and their noise machine.

To set the stage, it is necessary to know the true timeline. On the morning of Monday July 19, Andrew Breitbart posted a video clip of Ms Sherrod. Long story short, it did not provide the complete context of her remarks. That afternoon, Ms Sherrod was called repeatedly by the administration and told she was to resign. At this point, this story had not been reported on FNC, CNN, or MSNBC. There was a reason why FNC had not been covering the matter:

Michael Clemente, senior vice president of news editorial, said the network’s news programs reported the story with caution. “When I heard about this Monday morning and saw it on Breitbart’s website, I said, ‘OK, could be a story, let’s check it out,’ ” Clemente said. “We did the normal fact-finding we would do on any story.” At an afternoon editorial meeting Monday, Clemente urged the staff to first get the facts and obtain comment from Sherrod before going on air, according to internal notes from the meeting that were provided to The Times. “Let’s make sure we do this right,” he said.

Sherrod resigned, and the news broke on Monday evening. The first mention of the matter on FNC was from Bill O’Reilly. His show was taped about two hours earlier; he played the edited clip, called on her to resign. But by the time it aired, Ms Sherrod had already resigned, and an on-screen graphic noted same. (O’Reilly would later admit his mistake and apologize.) That same night CNN also played the clip in reporting on the resignation. By Tuesday morning, the NAACP, which had the entire video in its possession, had gone on record approving of the firing. Their statement has been removed from the NAACP website, but it said in part:

"Racism is about the abuse of power. Sherrod had it in her position at USDA. According to her remarks, she mistreated a white farmer in need of assistance because of his race."

Both MSNBC and Fox & Friends discussed these developments. As the LA Times noted:

"The first reported piece on Fox News, by correspondent James Rosen, aired on Tuesday morning, and included a second video clip that added context to Sherrod’s comments."

Along with the LA Times, reports from Mediaite, the Washington Post, and others make one thing clear: nothing that aired on FNC could possibly have caused Ms Sherrod’s firing, because FNC aired nothing until after she was already gone. That’s not a matter of opinion; it’s fact. So now the fun begins, as the haters kick into high gear.

Let’s begin with one Rick Holmes, who calls the Sherrod firing “another Fox News hit”:

"They cut 2 minutes out of a 43-minute speech, showed it over and over and said it proved she was a racist who had given poor service to a needy farmer just because he was white. Fox made it the scandal of the day.... The NAACP called on the Agriculture Department to reconsider their dismissal of Sherrod. They should apologize, give her job back, and learn a lesson about reacting to the Fox bullies."

As we know, the Ag Dept couldn’t have been reacting to Fox showing it “over and over” since they acted before Fox aired it at all. A supposedly prestigious writer, Richard Cohen, offers this up:

"A clip of that speech made the rounds of right wing blogs and media outlets -- Fox News, for instance -- and in no time Vilsack ordered the woman canned."

Mark Potok writes:

"Fox News, several of whose miserable excuses for journalists relentlessly plugged the entirely false story until Sherrod was fired."

Um, who were these journalists “relentlessly plugging the false story” before Sherrod was fired? Potok conveniently doesn’t say, but they must be there somewhere, perhaps in an alternate universe.That must be where act.truemajorityaction.org resides:

"Earlier today, we asked you to stand with Shirley Sherrod after the White House fired her based on the lies and twisted reporting of Fox News."

Could it be any clearer that these people have no idea of what Fox aired or when? They’re either making it up out of thin air, or...maybe there’s an echo chamber involved. Ya think? Let’s see what Margot Fernandez has to say:

"Andrew Breitbart, an individual whose subversive (LMFAO! "Subversive"??? Of course, people, who have actually called for the overthrow of the US are now friends with the President...Yes, I am talking about you Bill Ayres) views are well known, posted the product on a website and it had the predictable effect. Fox News picked it up and went to town, running it on an endless loop, without any fact-checking at all. The White House panicked over the reports and, like previous staff members and appointees, jettisoned Sherrod by demanding her resignation through Tom Vilsack, the Secretary of Agriculture."

Really? Margot has a future as a fiction writer. So does the discredited and wildly partisan poseur Cenk Yugar:

"Is there anyone Obama won't fire or throw under the bus if Fox asks him to?... If the firing of Shirley Sherrod was the first time they had done this, then all of the criticism they have received might be a bit much."

But it’s possible to be more divorced from reality, even if you are a newspaper editor:

"A Victim of Fox News...He cut two minutes out of a 43-minute speech, and he, Fox and others on the right-hand side of the dial showed it over and over, telling their gullible listeners that it proved Sherrod was a racist who had given poor service to a needy farmer just because he was white. Unfortunately, the NAACP and the White House fell for it... The USDA put her on administrative leave in the morning and demanded her resignation in the afternoon."

Where did this “editor” get his journalism degree, in a Cracker Jack box? And how similar is his verbiage to our first example, Rick Holmes? The courageously anonymous Curmudgeon echoes the falsehoods:

"The most disturbing part of this is not that Mr. Breitbart created this falsehood, nor that Fake, I mean, Faux, I mean Fox News immediately jumped on it and gave it mucho air time.... What is disturbing is how quickly the administration bought into this story, did not even TRY to verify it, and forced a resignation from Ms. Sherrod."

Yeah, it was all that Fox News air time that forced the resignation. All of zero minutes. Says another fearless unknown pundit:

"Fox “news” anchors were salivating like starving cats looking at a raw piece of tuna, as they told the tale of racism at the NAACP. The more vitriolic pundits turned it into “further” evidence that Obama hates white people.... So what do Tom Vilsack, the United States Secretary Of Agriculture (Shirley Sherrod’s boss) and the white house administration do when an incriminating video is released from a dubious source? They naturally spring into action to try and minimize the hurt that the video and Fox news are putting on them by demanding Shirley’s resignation."

It really is like an alternate universe, one where facts just don’t matter. They must have a special facility there for people who are flat-out delusional:

"Fox News took up the story immediately, late in the evening. Breitbart and Fox News were targeting the NAACP, which had made accusations that the Tea Party is racist. The NAACP saw the clips and said that Sherrod’s behavior was unacceptable. Early the next morning, Fox News anchor Bill O’Reilly called for Sherrod’s dismissal. Fox News hammered the story all day, hardly pausing in trumpeting its propaganda. Sherrod was forced to resign while she was driving home from a meeting several hours from her home. She was told that the White House had concerns about the fact that the story would be be featured on Glenn Beck’s evening show. She resigned."

O’Reilly’s morning program (LOL!) is so much more interesting than the one he does at night, isn’t it? It somehow seems appropriate that the following fiction comes from a site proudly calling itself World-O-Crap, because that’s what their chronology is:

"An African-American woman is accused of being a racist on a wingnut site. Fox News takes up the story and repeats it all day in order to embarrass the Obama administration. The woman gets fired."

Perhaps we should check a more reliable source. How about Helium, “where knowledge rules”? Here’s their “timeline”:

"Shawn [sic] Hannity, Glenn Beck, Bill O’Reilly and others on Fox News repeated the erroneous information as fact, and slanted Sherrod’s views as coming from her own racial prejudice.... The unedited “full story” came too late. Fox News had created the desired outcome. Sherrod was fired."

Of course, the place “where knowledge rules” isn’t nearly as distinguished as the respected blue blog FireDog Lake:

"The NAACP, the USDA and the White House shouldn’t have been so quick to jump when Fox and Breitbart told them to."

So many people saying the same thing. It’s almost like there’s...an echo chamber. But that wouldn’t affect honorable establishment media, like the McClatchy Newspapers, would it?

"Posted on the website of right-wing provocateur Andrew Breitbart, and then trumpeted on Fox News and other cable channels, the video made it sound like the African-American Sherrod had once refused to aid a farm couple because they were white. Conservatives went wild with indignation. In a hasty reaction, the NAACP called for Sherrod's head, too. Agriculture Secretary Tom Vilsack got it."

How about NBC affiliate KARE?

"Conservative blogger Andrew Breitbart posted only that part of the speech, to boost his own claim that the NAACP is racist. FOX News commentators ran with the story and demanded Sherrod's resignation from her job as director of rural development in Georgia. That led to USDA administrators to ask for her resignation Monday."

MSNBC’s resident rocket scientist, Big Ed Schultz, chimed in:

"We've got a White House that reacted to a blog story that was reported, promoted and sold on Fox News."

Um, sure, Ed. Here’s a cookie. Go away. What sort of timeline does disbarred attorney John Dean present?

"Fox News ran large with the story, with prime-time hosts O'Reilly and Hannity in red-faced rage over Sherrod's remarks, calling for her head. The Obama Administration quickly, and thoughtlessly, fired Sherrod, and the NAACP foolishly embraced her firing."

Why are we not surprised that discredited hack Eric Boehlert turns up too?

"Look, the first mistake they made, or the Department of Agriculture, or whoever was making the calls, they believed something that Andrew Breitbart put on his Web site. That‘s mistake one. And then they believed a smear campaign, a character assassination attack that Fox News was peddling."

Now this will shock you, but it seems the Huffington Post is peddling the same fictitious timeline:

"Then the right-wing echo chamber -- including Fox News and the conservative blogosphere -- picked up Breitbart's ball and ran with it. Next, the mainstream media -- the daily newspapers and the TV networks -- took the false accusations at face value and repeated them without bothering to verify and fact-check, acting more like stenographers than reporters. Finally, liberal groups like the NAACP and liberal politicians (in this case, Agriculture Secretary Tom Vilsack and the White House), wary of any controversy, jumped the gun and distanced themselves from the target of Breitbart's attacks -- by firing Sherrod before she even had an opportunity to explain or they bothered to investigate the accusations."

The Cable News Critic apparently doesn’t want you to know who he is, but that doesn’t stop him (or her) from parroting the noise machine:

"Why would Fox News think Breitbart is a credible source and use his material on the air?"

Possibly the same reason MSNBC and CNN did.

"Why would Fox News then blame the White House for their overreaction to an incendiary video that was aired on the Fox News Channel?"

Because (all together now) the White House reacted before the video was aired on FNC. Got it? Mr Unknown Cable News Critic, by the way, is also one of those who mindlessly regurgitated the phony “Judge Napoliano Goes Rogue” meme, while UCNC’s headline gave it a unique cosmetic twist:

"FOX NEWS' JUDGE ANDREW NAPOLITANO GOES ROUGE!"

Another brave anonymous blogger:

"Bill O’Reilly jumped on the ban [sic] wagon. Also Fox news. Anyway when wind of this got to the WHITE house [sic] Secretary Vilsac [sic], a white man, CALLED HER ON HER Blackberry while she was driving down the road and demanded she resign…She pulled over and did just that."

Maybe in this case there’s good reason not to want your name associated with your writing. Charles Kaiser, on the other hand, is proud of his work at Newsweek and the New York Times. Still, he let his name be attached to this utterly untrue slander:

"A completely discredited right-wing blogger posts an edited video which seems to convict a black Agriculture department official of racism. Fox News runs the distorted clip continuously on all of its shows Monday. Before giving Shirley Sherrod a chance to tell her side of the story, the Agriculture department demands and receives the resignation of the head of its rural development office in Georgia."

Funny how this bogus timeline keeps cropping up. Didn’t they close journo-list? Clearly Charles Kaiser is either a flagrant liar and making stuff up, or he heard this from somewhere else. That’s sounds an awful lot like...an echo chamber.


UPDATE: 

Did Media Matters lie in its published “timeline”? Eric Boehlert is hanging his hat on the claim that Foxnews.com published a report on the Sherrod video before she resigned, and that online report influenced the decision to fire her. Media Matters timeline places that Foxnews.com report after Breitbart’s video (11:18 am) and before a Jim Hoft blog post (12:13 pm). But they don’t document when the foxnews.com article was actually published. No timestamp.

Here’s the interesting thing. The article in question was not removed from Foxnews.com. It was simply updated with new information as it came in. The current version of the article is still in the same place, including the 7/19 date in the URL. What’s more, all the comments are there, dating all the way back to the first version of the piece from 7/19. And when you jump to the earliest comments, the first one is timestamped Monday July 19...at 6:22 pm. Since Sherrod’s firing wasn’t made public until later that evening, these comments are clearly from the first version of the post.

But wait: if the offending Foxnews.com article wasn’t even posted until after 6:00 pm, how could it have influenced the decision to fire Shirley Sherrod? It couldn’t and it didn’t. The resignation requests came Monday afternoon while Ms Sherrod was driving to Atlanta. In fact, Brit Hume has confirmed when the article first appeared.

You people are so stupid that it is frightening.

Step away from the echo chamber slowly.


UPDATE II:
 

Boy, talk about a crash and burn.  Breitbart received the video clip on the Friday afternoon before the scandal erupted.   He ran with what he had.   The Department of Agriculture had hired a cameraman employed by a local television station to film the NAACP and Ms Sherrod's speech.  The cameraman said that he sent several copies to the DOA-GA.  Either the cameraman or someone inside of DOA gave Breitbart the clip of video.  The full video was not available to Breitbart.  The DOA had it.  

Allow me to reiterate:

If the offending Foxnews.com article wasn’t even posted until after 6:00 pm, how could it have influenced the decision to fire Shirley Sherrod? It couldn’t and it didn’t. The resignation requests came Monday afternoon while Ms Sherrod was driving to Atlanta.

Who is going to be the first batshit crazy loon to step right up and explain how Fox is responsible for Sherrod's termination, which occurred before 6:00 PM when the story first went up on the website.

Step right up! You might win a stuffed jackass to cuddle at night when your Obama blow-up doll is being serviced because of overuse.

Bedknobs and Broomsticks. Tinfoil Hats and Double-Secret Decoder Rings. 'Shrooms and Tabs. You people should be accompanied everywhere that you go by "The Twilight Zone" music.

Sterilisation in America

In 1927, the Court in Buck v. Bell, 274 U.S. 200, upheld a statute instituting compulsory sterilisation of the unfit, including the mentally retarded, "for the protection and health of the state." It was largely seen as an endorsement of negative eugenics—the attempt to improve the human race by eliminating "defectives" from the gene pool.

Carrie Buck was a perfectly normal 18 year-old, young woman.  Her grandmother had mental and emotional problems.  Her mother had the mind of an 8 year-old and a history of prostitution and "immorality." Carrie had been put up for adoption.  In her teens, she became pregnant.  Her family and physician claimed that she was "feeble-minded" and had her instituionalised in the state mental hospital.  It was learned latter that Carrie had been raped by her adopted mother's nephew and the family had her institutionalised to "save the family's reputation."

Once Virginia SB 281, the “Eugenical Sterilization Act,” passed, the state and state doctors were looking for a case to test the law.  Carrie was it.  She lost through the state courts and her lawyers were granted cert by SCOTUS.  Carrie's lawyers argued that involuntary sterilisation violated the protections of the 14th Amendment and 5th Amendment. They contended that the due process clause guarantees all adults the right to procreate which was being violated. They also made the argument that the equal protection clause in the 14th Amendment was being violated since not all similarly situated people were being treated the same. The sterilisation law was only for the "feeble-minded" at certain state institutions and made no mention of other state institutions or those who were not in an institution.

In a landmark 8-1 decision, the Court upheld the involuntary sterilisation law and this opened the floodgates.  the Court accepted that she, her mother and her daughter were "feeble-minded" and "promiscuous," and that it was in the state's interest to have her sterilised.

In the infamous words of Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes, writing for the majority:

"We have seen more than once that the public welfare may call upon the best citizens for their lives. It would be strange if it could not call upon those who already sap the strength of the State for these lesser sacrifices, often not felt to be such by those concerned, to prevent our being swamped with incompetence. It is better for all the world, if instead of waiting to execute degenerate offspring for crime, or to let them starve for their imbecility, society can prevent those who are manifestly unfit from continuing their kind. The principle that sustains compulsory vaccination is broad enough to cover cutting the Fallopian tubes…Three generations of imbeciles are enough".

She was sterilised and lived into her 80s, was a perfectly normal woman of average intelligence, manners, morality, and mother to the child of the rape until the little girl, an honours' student, died from the measles.

It is estimated that close to 100,000 Americans were forced to undergo sterilisation against their will.

In Skinner v. Oklahoma, 316 U.S. 535 (1942), the Court ruled that compulsory sterilisation could not be imposed as a punishment for a crime because the Oklahoma law excluded white-collar crimes, which did not also carry sterilisation penalties.  Obviously, this produced equal protection problems and headaches.

The Oklahoma law allowed for a person convicted of three or more crimes "amounting to felonies involving moral turpitude".   Skinner had been convicted twice of bank robbery and one for stealing chickens.  It was a common belief during that era was that "criminality" was possibly a hereditary trait that needed to be weeded out of the human gene pool via eugenics.

Section 195 of the law made the following exception:  offences arising out of the violation of the prohibitory laws, revenue acts, embezzlement, or political offenses, shall not come or be considered within the terms of this Act."........in other words, "white and middle/upper class" people. 

Justice William O. Douglas writing for the majority:

"Oklahoma makes no attempt to say that he who commits larceny by trespass or trick or fraud has biologically inheritable traits which he who commits embezzlement lacks. We have not the slightest basis for inferring that that line has any significance in eugenics, nor that the inheritability of criminal traits follows the neat legal distinctions which the law has marked between those two offenses. In terms of fines and imprisonment, the crimes of larceny and embezzlement rate the same under the Oklahoma code. Only when it comes to sterilization are the pains and penalties of the law different. The equal protection clause would indeed be a formula of empty words if such conspicuously artificial lines could be drawn."

and...

"The power to sterilize, if exercised, may have subtle, far-reaching and devastating effects. In evil or reckless hands it can cause races or types which are inimical to the dominant group to wither and disappear. There is no redemption for the individual whom the law touches. Any experiment which the State conducts is to his irreparable injury. He is forever deprived of a basic liberty. We mention these matters not to reexamine the scope of the police power of the States. We advert to them merely in emphasis of our view that strict scrutiny of the classification which a State makes in a sterilization law is essential, lest unwittingly, or otherwise, invidious discriminations are made against groups or types of individuals in violation of the constitutional guaranty of just and equal laws."

Skinner is often mistaken as having overturned Buck and declared forced sterilisations to be unconstitutional.  THIS IS UNTRUE.  The case turned on the Equal Protection argument and the disparate treatment for classes of criminals.

SKINNER IS STILL GOOD LAW.  FORCED STERILISATIONS HAVE NEVER BEEN HELD TO BE UNCONSTITUTIONAL AND AROUND 25,000 MEN AND WOMEN UNDERWENT STERILISATION AFTER SKINNER.

The last known forced sterilisation occurred in Oregon in 1984, but there is nothing to stop the government from beginning this horror in the future.  That should make the hearts of Tom Friedman, Paul Krugman, Ezekiel Emanuel, John Holdern, etc., go aflutter.  One child policy???

As a libertarian, these cases are close to my heart.  The State should never be able to do things like this to anyone.  This sad chapter of American history was born in evil, which eventually was adopted by Nazi Germany.

Totally Batshit Crazy: The Six Most Insane People To Ever Run For President

#6: CYNTHIA McKINNEY (If she is #6, just imagine who's on first).

If you're one of those people with a soft spot for wasting your vote on loony candidates, do I have good news for you! You have plenty of time to cast your wacky-as.s vote for Green Party nominee, Cynthia McKinney, when she runs again in 2012!

Until 2006, she was a Democratic member of Congress, where she spent her time on important things like trying to pass a bill to release the government's secret records on all of the Jews on House committees, assaulting the Capitol police and trying to get a new House Senate Select Committee On Assassinations formed to investigate the CIA's involvement into the "assassinations" of Tupac Shakur, Soulja Slim, Biggie Smalls, Freakie Tay, Mac Dre, Yaki Kadafi, Scott La Rock, Big L, and Jam Master Jay.

But wait, it gets better. McKinney upped the crazy ante when she claimed that the government executed 5,000 males and dumped them in a swamp in Louisiana. She stated that she assumed they were prisoners, because they were mostly males. Why, because only dudes go to prison? Evidently, soooooooomeone has never seen: "Caged Heat, " The Concrete Jungle," "Chained Heat," "Cell Block Sisters," "Caged Hearts," "Bad Girls Dormitory," "Under Lock & Key," and "Caged Fear."

She also claimed that the American Red Cross was a conspirator in the "genocide" in Louisiana. Yeah, 'cuz EVERYONE knows that the Red Cross is just a beard for the Fourth Reich, Illuminati, Council on Foreign Relations, CIA and Bilderbergs. That's right! We ALL know that its charity work is just a cover for its real purpose: To steal and kill.

This information supposedly came to her via a message received by the antenna on her tinfoil hat from a woman whose son was one of those tasked with disposing of the bodies. Sure, that probably sounds dubious, but McKinney assures us she took the extra step of verifying the story with insiders. I'm hoping that "insiders" is the loving pet name she's given to the voices in her head. Otherwise, someone out there with information to share that, if true, could be vital to the very fabric of American life, decided that the best place to go with it was here...

'Why am I holding these? Where am I?'

- Cynthia McKinney

'Her son’s charge by the Department of Defence was to process 5,000 bodies that had received a single bullet wound to the head, and these were mostly males…The data about these individuals was entered into a Pentagon computer. And, then reportedly the bodies were dumped in the swamp in Louisiana…I have verification from insiders, who wish to remain anonymous (of course)…at the Red Cross.'

- Cynthia “Face-Palm” McKinney

Because clearly, the Red Cross would be deeply involved in such a plot...

“Why did they not warn the innocent people…who were needlessly murdered?” In other words, the Bush administration knew these people were going to be murdered and they did nothing about it. She also adds that “persons close to this administration are poised to make huge profits off America’s new war…We know there were numerous warnings of the events to come on September 11th. . . . What did this administration know and when did it know it, about the events of September 11th? Who else knew, and why did they not warn the innocent people of New York who were needlessly murdered? . . . What do they have to hide?…I am not aware of any evidence showing that President Bush or members of his administration have personally profited from the attacks of 9-11. A complete investigation might reveal that to be the case.”

- Cynthia McKinney 

Don’t say it. I am not debating your Truther theories again…thermite…nano-thermite…nono-kryptonite.

#5: LYNDON LaROUCHE, PERENNIAL PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE

Lyndon LaRouche has run for president at least eight times, first in 1976 as the US Labour Party candidate, and later as a candidate for the Democratic nomination. Depending on who you ask, he is either a genius visionary or a batshitt insane conspiracy theorist...Hmm... Let's see if we can find some evidence one way or the other...

Where to start?  He thinks either the Holocaust didn't happen or, if it did, it wasn't all that bad and that some kind of Jewish /British cabal  is behind all of the world's problems.  (You know, if it's not Bush's fault, then it has to be the fault of the Joooos). His political party looks an awful lot like a cult, with LaRouche holding tight-fisted control over a core group of dedicated followers. Do Not Pass Go. Do Not Collect $200.00. And, Go Straight to Flat-out Batshitt Crazyville.

I mean why not go straight for the great?  And by "great" I mean “GREAT!” like the time that "he claimed someone kidnapped and brainwashed one of his staff members with the intent of programming them to assassinate him."

According to LaRouche's group, the intended assassin was Chris White, a British national, who had married LaRouche's ex-girlfriend. The young man was allegedly kidnapped by the CIA, in conjunction with the KGB friend. The young man was next allegedly kidnapped by the CIA, in conjunction with the KGB. Sounds reasonable enough, what better friends were there in 1974 than the CIA and the KGB? What Cold War?

LaRouche's people said that, once in captivity, White was programmed so that when a trigger word was uttered, White would kill his wife, then LaRouche, and then blame the thing on Cuban assassins (got to work in the Cubans in there. What good is a conspiracy theory without a Communist octogenarian in it in a track suit?). After all, if some dude just went crazy and killed his wife and her ex-boyfriend, how would you ever explain that?

#4: JOHN G. SCHMITZ - 1972 AMERICAN INDEPENDENT PARTY

John G Schmitz had a beef with Richard Nixon (when Nixon made his historic trip to China, Schmitz quite hilariously said "I was only upset that he came back"). Schmitz decided the best way to take out his anger was by running for President against Nixon in 1972, hoping to addle Nixon with the shame of losing to someone who was frothingly insane.

If someone ever decides to compile recordings of the craziest things every said to the media, they may as well call it "John G Schmitz: The Greatest Hits," and not just because that title rhymes. For example, there was the time he casually suggested the US could benefit from a military coup to overthrow the government. But in his words:

'Not a bad coup, mind you. But, a good one,  like Pinochet's in Chile.'  

Oh, okay! Thought you were saying something retarded there for a moment.

He did have a way with the ladies though. After a particularly heated exchange with feminist lawyer, Gloria Allred, Schmitz approved a press release with the catchy headline:

"Attack of the Bulldykes" 

...that described Allred as a "slick butch lawyeress" and her supporters as "a sea of hard, Jewish and (arguably) female faces". 

Regardless of where you fall on the issue of women or lawyers or those that happen to be both, that’s some funny shit. I love listening to insane people babble,  You just never know what will be said and, of course, even a nut finds a squirrel every now and then and called Allred, "That Howling, Hollering Harridan", Allred, is a bitch. I can't listen to her for more than 2 minutes.


Schmitz is dead now, but fear not! The crazy train in the Schmitz family is continuing on down the tracks. One major example is Schmitz’s daughter, Mary Kay LeTourneau. Name sound vaguely familiar? Maybe, you remember it from the several years she was in the headlines for having sex with a 13 year-old student (she was a teacher – they met when he was 8) and having two of his children. She went to jail for rape, then, when she was released, she did the honourable thing: She married him. 

Many children and insanity runs in the family.  But, hey, at least she didn’t run for president.

 

#3: JOHN HAGELIN - 1992 NATURAL LAW PARTY NOMINEE 

The Natural Law Party was formed in 1992 in that political hotbed city of Fairfield, Iowa (Think Berkeley in a corn field...or not). For the entirety of it's hilarious life as a political party (three election cycles), John Hagelin was their candidate.

John Hagelin is a doctor. That means he's smarter than you. So smart, in fact, that he has the problem of terrorism completely figured out. War? Not the answer. Better cooperation amongst intelligence departments? Not necessary. Transcendental meditation? Hell, yeah! Just watch that downward facing dog. You could cause a riot or WWIII. Namaste, dude. 

According to Hagelin, the answer to all of the world's problems lies in having a bunch of people get together in a room and think about said problems, like, really hard. That's it, problem solved. No actual action is needed. Seriously, they say it's been "field tested" for 25 years and has shown clear reductions in terrorism! Though I'm assuming those 25 years were not consecutive and did not include 2001 or 2002 or 2003 or 2004 or 2005 or 2006 or 2007 or 2008 or 2009 or 2010.
 
Perhaps, Hagelin can get one of those massive transcendental mediation thingies going on 21 December 2012 - That whole Mayan calendar issue must be freaking the Nats out.

According to them, the only reason we haven't already eradicated all of our problems is because not enough people are meditating on them at the same time. But, it's not for lack of trying, once participation in the annual Invincible America Assembly reaches approximately the square root of 1% of the total population of the United States, all world events will tilt in our favor. That makes sense, right? That 'He.Bad.', 09 September 2001, thing was just an aberration.

#2: JACK SHEPARD- 2008 CANDIDATE FOR THE REPUBLICAN NOMINATION

If you think it takes balls to run for president, try running for president while running from the law. That's just what Jack Shepard did.

Jack Shepard's political activities, and there have been several, have all been conducted from Italy due to an outstanding for burning his Minneapolis home to the ground.

To be fair, he had a perfectly plausible story. 

'Someone kicked in my bedroom door and threw some fire in there and ran downstairs and ran away.'

I must admit, I was skeptical, until I realised that the assailants already had the fire burning and ready to throw prior to kicking in the bedroom door; thus, giving them plenty of time to escape...all in the dark. Night vision goggles???

Running for president as a fugitive--presumably so he can pardon himself once elected--is more than enough crazy to make this list, but it doesn't end there.

Shepard also had his Minnesota dental license revoked due to "a string of violent incidents."  No further details are available about the incidents themselves, but he did show up to the revocation hearing dressed as soccer player, if that helps. Need more? Think Michael Jackson without the fire and violent extractions. 

And then, there are his claims of being a spy for the US government. "If I wanted to go home (President) Bush would clear the way (he obviously overlooked the fact that he can't campaign, win and be President in Italy and, if he comes home, he won't be to either since the warden has some very strict rules).

“Bush knows me personally. How do get new passports, travel and do not get arrested, if Uncle Sam did not cover for one of his most well connected people in the Middle East, if I was not who I cannot say I am?" 

Yes, because we all know that batshit loons set fires, get a little violent cleaning, filling and pulling teeth, and show up to court in a costume are on a first name basis with the POTUS and is well-connected in Europe. 

You can't argue with logic like that.

#1: LEE MERCER, JR., CANDIDATE FOR THE 2008 DEMOCRATIC NOMINATION

After the Democrats nominated Barack Obama in 2008, I had a chance to reflect on the nominee that could have been, should have been.  Seriously, I am talking about a candidate of great personal integrity, purpose, wisdom, intelligence, and vision.  Sure, Obama's black.  The first African-American candidate nominated for President by a major political party in the United States.  Big deal.  They could have had a black candidate AND a real historic first if not for the fact he failed to garner a single delegate or appear on a single ballot. Even so, the failure of the Democrats to nominate this man for president represents a tragic loss, the loss of a man who combines the stability of Lyndon LaRouche, the gravitas of Joe Biden and the wisdom Dennis Kucinich and stirs it up into a nice gooey ball of complete sincere batshit insanity.

Why is America the greatest country in the world? Because a Lee Mercer, Jr. can legally run for president.

After reading through his website, the thing that surprised me the most was that someone actually got Lee Mercer, Jr. to take a long enough break from being absolutely out-of-his-gourd insane to stop and pose for that picture at the top. Not wanting to dilute Mercer's message, I now present him in his own words (misspelling his, emphasis mine) and all of his glory.

Double gird your loins, because here we go...from his biography:

"Since my high school graduation in 1969, I developed myself to my own academic interest to be a Collegiate Professional."

"On August 22, 1992, the State of Texas installed an intelligence hotwire in me at the United States Army Military Intelligence Academy Camp Bullis, San Antonio, Texas."

"As a part of my continuing eduaction (yep, that "eduaction" will come in handy), I am making my presidential campaign part of my ROTC Intelligence Academics to record the learnings, doings, and examples of the United States Government as a government consultant, community developer, and financial planner appointed by the United States Federal Congress to record my biography in the United States Government Presidential Election for 2008 from Electronic Surveillance to develop records on the United States Government Presidential Campaign because I am on an academic intelligence hotwire that cannot be unhooked by anyone.'

"I have a doctor degree Phd. a doctor of laws, medicine (not a practitioner of medicine; i.e, physicians, surgeons), theology, management, engineering and other subjects that are guaranteed by the United States Army in ROTC to be presented to me in a court of Law only."  

Yeah, I thought the same thing you are...is Fleet Admiral Bozone Mitty,  (Ret.), International Man of Idiocy, bestest friend of Rear Admiral Thurston Howell III really Lee Mercer???



Alas, no.


On Why He's Running For President:


1. The United States Federal Congress has encouraged me to want to become President of the United States so that I can do what the President of the United States of America is supposed to do and complete the federal and military government biography and autobiography in development in Eye Spy Community-Military Intelligence (All Three) Business and Commerce Intelligence Education across the board National and International.  Yeah, because we all know that writing down that, which the Evil Electronic Eye can already see, somehow, protects you from Big Brother.  Besides, like, um, you know, how can Eye Spy penetrate the Van Allen Radiation Belt?  Huh?


2.  To prove there is a Public Health Crime War in Business and Commerce in America National and International through Eye Spy Community-Military Intelligence (All Three) Business and Commerce Intelligence.  Yeah, he's really hung up on that whole bidness.


3.  To prove The Klu Klux Klan and the Communist Party are gangsters and organize crime in Business and Commerce through Eye Spy Community-Military Intelligence (All Three) Business and Commerce Intelligence National and International.  Told ya. 


4.  To prove the United States of America has two Governments and they are Government #1 and Government #2 and I own Government # 1.  I have the feeling that he had a difficult time potty training -- #1 and #2.


5. To Prove The United States Army Guarantees all of my performances because I am on a United States Army Hot-wire Hookup for performance monitoring as Eye Spy Community-Military Intelligence Business and Commerce Intelligence University Of Texas at Austin ROTC The United States Army Military Intelligence Academy.  Back to the EYE SPY.  Hey, maybe, he's related to Axe...

6.  To Prove Governor William Perry is killing me and my family very seriously.  Okey-dokey.


7.  To Prove Jeb Bush is all in my house with disease.  BOOOOOOOOOSH!


8.  To prove that you need to pay the American Citizens before I die.  Don't ask.  Hell, if I know.


9.  To prove that every person in the United States and world is hooked up on an Eye Spy and Community Military Intelligence (All Three) Electronic surveillance hot-wires approved by the United States Congress for the U.S. Government Electronic Surveillance of every citizen in America for government intelligence circumstances will equal to the United States Government's Technocracy.  Back to the EYE.  Has anyone ever seen Axe and Lee Mercer in the same room at the same time?  Ever?

"My platform for President of the United States Of America is Criminal Law. It is developed from my Method of Education."

"I was to create and/or invent by the United States Army that is now intact regulating the United States Government protecting through Military Intelligence Computerization Management a new Disipline I invented and the Administration of Criminal Law. Laws across the board."

"Hey! Don't mock his "created and/or invented"! After all, "Hope-n-Change" worked. "Created and Saved" worked for a while. So did, "Timely, Targeted, and Temporary.”

Sounds like George Nouri could fill up an entire month of programming on Coast-to-Coast just with these loons...and, I haven't even mentioned Dennis Kucinich, Sheila Jackson-Lee, Alvin Greene, and Carol Mosley-Braun.


Prediction:  Since Alvin "Action Figure" Greene is shellacked, Cynthia McKinney will ask him to be her running mate in 2012.  Well, at least we will be entertained while awaiting the end of the world on 21 December 2012.

Okay, well, there's always 2016!!!



Updated with some gratuitous Axe axing.  I so heart him.