Fund Your Utopia Without Me.™

23 April 2013

'Cuz Nanny Napoleon Doomberg Knows Best...

 M2RB:  Napoleon XIV

They're coming to take me away, ha-haaa!!

They're coming to take me away, ho-ho, hee-hee, ha-haaa

To the funny farm. Where life is beautiful all the time and I'll be

happy to see those nice young men in their clean white coats and they're coming to take me away, 

'I do think there are certain times we should infringe on your freedom.'

- Nanny Napoleon Doomberg, 24 March 2013

'The people who are worried about privacy have a legitimate worry, but we live in a complex world where you’re going to have to have a level of security greater than you did back in the olden days, if you will.  And our laws and our interpretation of the Constitution, I think, have to change.'

 - Nanny Napoleon Doomberg, 22 April 2013

'I think we banned them. We ban everything.'

- Nanny Napoleon Doomberg,  18 May 2007

 'Come on! We’re not banning everything!'

- Nanny Napoleon Doomberg, 15 February 2013

'In the past, a leader was a boss. Today's leaders must be partners with their people... they no longer can lead solely based on positional power.'

-  Mayor 'Pay Attention To What I Say, Not What I Do!' Doomberg, 30 May 2007

We're going into a different world, unchartered. And, like it or not, what people can do or governments can do is different, and you can to some extent control, but you can't keep the tides from coming in. We're going to have more visibility and less privacy.’

- Nanny Napoleon Doomberg, 22 March 2013

‘You wait, in five years, the technology is getting better, they’ll be cameras everyplace . . . whether you like it or not.’

- Nanny Napoleon Doomberg, 22 March 2013


‘Oh, it’s Big Brother, get used to it.’

- Nanny Napoleon Doomberg on drones, 22 March 2013

‘But what’s the difference whether the drone is up in the air or on the building? I mean intellectually I have trouble making a distinction. And you know you’re gonna have face recognition software. People are working on that. It’s just we’re going into a different world, unchartered.’

- Nanny Napoleon Doomberg on drones, 22 March 2013

‘People have to get over the idea that they can just go wherever they want whenever they want.’

- Nanny Napoleon Doomberg

'It doesn’t sound ridiculous.  In moderation, most things are OK. We’re not banning you from getting the stuff.  It’s just if you want 32 ounces, the restaurant has to serve it in two glasses. That’s not exactly taking away your freedoms. It’s not something the Founding Fathers fought for.'

- Nanny Napoleon Doomberg, who sets Founding Fathers spinning in their graves, 1 June 2012

'It is incumbent on government to tell people what they are doing to themselves and let people make their own decisions.'

- Mayor 'My food police, they're taking over your life...My food police, they'll nag you more than your wife...My food police, they're coming to arrest you, oh, YES!!!' Doomberg, 11 March 2013

'We're not taking away anybody's right to do things.  We're simply forcing you to understand that you have to make the conscious decision to go from one cup to another cup.'

- Judge 'Nudge',  31 May 2012

'After all, we can live without [Styrofoam]. We may live longer without it. And the doggie bag will survive just fine.'

- Nanny Napoleon Doomberg, who spends $245,000 in taxpayer dollars every year to pay for THREE PERSONAL CHEFS

'Most of the public health officials around the country think that this is a great idea [banning baby formula from city-run hospitals]. I gather that the immunities that a mother has built up get passed along to the child so the child is healthier.  Anything that we can think of that will improve your health.  Life expectancy in New York City is three years greater on average in the U.S. Why don’t you just focus on the big number?'

- Nanny Knows Breast...Or Is He Just A Big Boob?, 30 July 2012

'We’re not making anybody do it. We’re suggesting, and the same thing with full sugar drinks.  I was behind a truck this morning, and they said ‘Don’t limit our drinks.’ Nobody’s limiting. It’s just the size of the cup.'

 - Mayor Busybody, 30 July 2012

“Somebody said… 'Oh then maybe there won’t be enough painkillers for the poor who use the emergency rooms as their primary care doctor. Number one, there’s no evidence of that. Number two, supposing it is really true, so you didn’t get enough painkillers and you did have to suffer a little bit. The other side of the coin is people are dying and there’s nothing perfectThere’s nothing that you can possibly do where somebody isn’t going to suffer, and it’s always the same group (claiming), 'Everybody is heartless.' Come on, this is a very big problem."

- Nanny 'Suffer, You Po' Suckas!' Doomberg, 11 January 2013


'Unfortunately, Judge Roberts' response did not indicate a commitment to protect a woman's right to choose.  There can be no turning back and for that reason, I oppose the nomination of Judge Roberts as Chief Justice of the Supreme Court.'

- Mayor 'Call Me 'Mr Pro-Choice'" Bloomberg, but 'Hey!  I did like how Chief Justice Roberts became anti-choice on the subjects of health insurance and healthcare and finding a heretofore undiscovered constitutional tax!'

'You can still buy cigarettes, we haven’t banned that!'

- Mayor 'No, I Will Not Butt Out!' Doomberg, 15 February 2013

'[Alcohol is a major factor in crimes committed in New York City and a major cause of obesity] For those two reasons, among many others, we are going to institute a ban on alcohol in New York City.  I am doing this for everyone’s benefit.  I know what’s best for New Yorkers and eventually they will all agree with me.'

- Mayor 'Prohibition Only Failed Because The Right Person Wasn't In Charge' Teetotaler, 11 January 2012

'As long as you don't ban Cheez-Its.  Cheeze-Its are OK. That's my addiction!'

- HizzCheezeIt, Late Show With David Letterman, 12 March 2013 

But, whatever you do, DO. NOT. CALL. HIM. A. HYPOCRITE.

'He dumps salt on almost everything, even saltine crackers. He devours burnt bacon and peanut butter sandwiches. He has a weakness for hot dogs, cheeseburgers, and fried chicken, washing them down with a glass of Merlot.  And his snack of choice? Cheez-Its.'

Mayor Doesn't Always Live By His Health Rules, New York Times, 22 September 2009


'What we can't do is let the protection get in the way of us enjoying our freedoms. You still want to let people practice their religion, no matter what that religion is. And I think one of the great dangers here is going and categorizing anybody from one religion as a terrorist. That’s not true … That would let the terrorists win. That’s what they want us to do.'

- Nanny Knows What Terrorists Think And Want, 23 April 2013

'I think it's fair to say if somebody was going to try, on that piece of property, to build a church or a synagogue, nobody would be yelling and screaming.  And the fact of the matter is that Muslims have a right to do it, too.  What is great about America and particularly New York is we welcome everybody, and if we are so afraid of something like this, what does that say about us?  Democracy is stronger than this. You know the ability to practice your religion was one of the real reasons America was founded. And for us to just say no is just, I think, not appropriate is a nice way to phrase it. . . If you are religious, you do not want the government picking religions, because what do you do the day they don't pick yours?'

- Mayor Defender of Faith, standing up for the Ground Zero Mosque, whose leaders, Imam Rauf and Daisy can perform the miracle of accommodating 450-500 praying Muslims five times each day into their one-bedroom, 800 sq. ft. imaginary mosque located at 201 W. 85th St., Apt. 10E*

In contrast...

'I say that I am against putting the mosque in that particular place. And I’ll tell you why. For two reasons: first of all, those people behind the mosque have to respect, have to appreciate and have to defer to the people of New York, and not try to agitate the wound by saying 'we need to put the mosque next to the 9/11 site'.  The wound is still there. Just because the wound is healing you can’t say 'let’s just go back to where we were pre-9/11.'  I am against putting the mosque there out of respect for those people who have been wounded over there.'

- Prince Al-Waleed Bin Talal, House of Saud, 28 October 2010

Now, compare Mayor Defender of Faith's defence of the Ground Zero Mosque with this:

'This cannot be political.  That's why there's a poem or a quote or something that each one of the readers will speeches whatsoever... There's an awful lot of people that would like to participate but you just can't do that, once you open it up. So the argument here is it's elected officials and those who were there at the time and had some influence. We just don’t have room for [religious leaders].'

- Mayor 'So what if Father Mychal Judge was the first recorded death on 9/11 and he died rushing TO the WTC to minister and help the injured?' Doomberg, who wasn't Mayor on that horrific day and banned the participation of any and all clergy from the memorial service at Ground Zero marking the 10th anniversary of 11 September 2001


 'I take being called Mayor Poppins as a great badge of honor. I can’t think of anything I like more. It says we’re trying to do something — save lives.'

- Mayor Poppins, 19 March 2013


‘Well, we have to provide the world’s best schools. We certainly don’t have them, but that’s our objective.’

- Nanny Napoleon Doomberg, but make sure that birth control pills, Depo-Provera injections, Plan B and the insertion of plastic IUDs are made widely available in our schools because it is the most important thing we can do for da yewts!

If Nanny Napoleon Doomberg has been far from successful in achieving academic excellence in NYC schools, he has excelled championing the one area of 'privacy' that he evidently tolerates.  In an analysis of the records of 40 school-based health centres in New York City—most of them in schools with large minority populations, the New York Post revealed that 'about 22,400 students sought reproductive care from January, 2009 through 2012.  In addition to these routine contraceptives, the City’s schools are providing students with Plan-B, the “morning-after pill” to prevent pregnancy. The Post reports that “handouts of the morning-after pill to sexually active students have skyrocketed” from 5,039 doses given to teenage students during the 2009-10 school year, to 12,721 doses given in 2011-12. Under New York State law, minors can obtain reproductive services without their parent’s permission.'

According to the Post, Ms Mona Davids, president of the NYC Parents Union and an African-American, noted that most school-based health centres are located in poor neighbourhoods and Doomberg's 'achievement' has amounted to: 

“This was population control on blacks and Latinos without our knowledge.”

As Anne Hendershott wrote, 'Davids is correct. The National Assembly on School Based Health Care Census report documents that nationally, 70% of the student body in schools with school based health centers are members of minority groups. These groups have long been targeted for all reproductive services—especially abortion.   According to the Guttmacher Institute, the abortion rate for black women is almost five times that for white women.'

'Congratulations principals, teachers, parents and students on a truly remarkable year ... another encouraging sign that our reforms are taking hold.'

 - Principal 'You just wait until we hit 100%!  Do you know what they call that?  An A+!' Bloomberg of NYC Schools where 80% of graduates cannot read, but can get all of the reproductive services they want

'We have the best large-city public school system in the country.' 

- Nanny Napoleon Doomberg, Keeping Hope Margaret Sanger's Dream Alive!!!

'Illegal guns is an example of cities leading where Washington has not. Those in Washington prefer talk to action. On illegal guns, they extol the virtues of the Second Amendment, but let’s get serious: protecting the Second Amendment does not stop you from keeping illegal guns out of the hands of criminals. It’s just a political duck-and-cover that allows legislators to escape responsibility for fixing a serious problem and innocent people--and police officers--are dying as a result.'

- Mayor 'Don't Know Much 'Bout Da Constitution, Criminals, or Guns' Gun-Grabber, 2 November 2007

Huh?  The First Amendment doesn't keep child pornography out of the hands of criminals either.   Murder laws don't stop murders and how many drunk driving laws have prevented drunk driving?   Criminals, by definition, do NOT obey the law.  That's what makes them criminals.  Duh.

'I think I have a responsibility, and I think you and all your viewers have responsibilities, to try to make this country safer for our families and for each other.  And if I can do that by spending some money and by taking the NRA from being the only voice to being one of the voices so the public can really understand the issues, then I think my money would be well spent, and I think I have an obligation to do that.'

Which drew this response:

'We have people all over, millions of people, sending us 5-, 10-, 15-, 20-dollar checks saying, ‘Stand up to this guy!'  I mean, it’s insane the stuff being said.'

- Wayne LaPierre, President of the National Rifle Association

'The murder rate in the rural areas is just as bad if not worse than the murder rate in urban areas.'

- Sheriff Doomberg, 20 July 2012

'I don’t know about that. You know, I’m not a psychiatrist or a psychologist. I can tell you I don’t think there’s any other developed country in the world that has remotely the problem we have. There’s no other place that allows- we have more guns than people in this country. Every place else, if there are murders they’re generally not done with guns – not generally, a lot more are not done with guns. And everybody’s got problems with crime, and you know, that’s the real world. God didn’t make everybody perfect. But this is just- you know, and we can talk about it on the talk shows, we can wring our hands and say it’s terrible. You know, ‘I need more guns to protect myself.’ And that strategy doesn’t work. That’s like saying incarcerate more people and you’ll reduce crime rate.'

- Mayor 'Pay No Attention To The Fact That The Murder Rate Is The Lowest That It Has Been In More Than 4 Decades Even Though There Are More Guns Than Ever',  20 July 2012

'The last time I saw a deer wearing a bulletproof vest was a long time ago. The only reason you would buy an armor-piercing bullet is to kill a cop.'

- Mayor Dumbass, 21 December 2012

'Pistols are different. You have to pull the trigger each time. An assault weapon you hold and it goes 'dit-dit-dit-dit-dit-dit' those are fully automatic weapons. If you have a big magazine, you will solve your problem. You still have to pull a trigger.'

- Mayor 'I Don't Know Shit About Guns' Doomberg, 21 December 2012

'If you haven’t hit the deer with three shots. You are a lousy shot and the deer deserves to get away.   If you have a big magazine you’ll solve your problem. You still have to pull a trigger. But 30, 20, 10 bullets before you run out, I would suggest the deer is … God wants that deer to live.  If that is what they are using, for God's sakes, why don't they use dynamite?'

- Mayor 'I Go Hunting All Of The Time With John Kerry' Bloomerang,  21 December 2012

‘I don’t understand why police officers across this country don’t stand up collectively and say we’re going to go on strike, we’re not going to protect you unless you, the public, through your legislature, do what’s required to keep us safe.’

- Nanny Napoleon Doomberg encouraging illegal strike actions and contradicting what the majority of American police officers believe on gun ownership, the causes of crime, and what needs to be done to reduce violence

Nanny Napoleon Doomberg, what about the rest of us? What about Kelly Thomas, who screamed for his father while five cops beat him to death? Or Patricia Cook, shot to death by a deranged alcoholic with a badge? Or Andrew Scott, killed during a wrong-door raid? Or Nick Christie, gagged and pepper-sprayed to death by prison guards? Or Seth Adams, shot four times by a cop behind his family business, then left to die? Or Wendell Allen, who was unarmed when a New Orleans cop shot and killed him during a raid? Or Ramarley Graham, the 18-year-old New Yorker shot and killed by plainclothes cops for trying to flush a small bag of marijuana down the toilet? Or Kyle Miller, killed by Colorado police for waving a BB gun in the air? Or Todd Blair, killed by Utah police for raising a golf club above his head?


'Police officers want to go home to their families. And we’re doing everything we can to make their job more difficult, but more importantly, more dangerous, by leaving guns in the hands of people who shouldn’t have them and letting people who have those guns buy things like armor piercing bullets.'

‘I would argue if you want to sell your gun to your son, maybe you have a problem in your family.’

- Billionaire Doomberg

“If I were the federal government, assuming we could wave a magic wand and pull everybody together, you pass a law letting immigrants come in as long as they agree to go to Detroit and live there for five to 10 years, start businesses, take jobs or whatever. You would populate Detroit overnight because half the world wants to come here. All the federal government’s got to do is say, ‘We’re gonna welcome here in this country–first come, first served–families, if they’re willing to come here under the following terms: 

We’re going to assign you Detroit –you got to agree to not be arrested and not take any federal, state or city money, and you’ve got to live there and if you survive, we’ll make you and your family full citizens. 

- Nanny Doomberg, NIMBY-lover extraordinaire!

“We have talked to them and asked them to not have a subway car motif to write graffiti. This is not really art or expression. This is - let's be honest about what it is - it's trying to encourage people to do something that's not in anybody's interest.”

“A street performance of Hamlet' would be tantamount to encouraging revenge murder.”

“With a lot of luck, later on this evening we will look back on this and say, 'Where were you when the lights went out' but nobody will have gotten hurt.”

“Getting around easily means 'community,' and that's what we're trying to create.”

“It's no fun to protest on an empty stomach.”


Apparently New York City’s Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg whiles away his last hours in the mayor’s palace daydreaming. He has been mayor for almost three terms and though his mayorship may not have been as heroic or even as effective as that of Mayor Rudy Giuliani, it has at least kept the city up to Mayor Giuliani’s standards of cleanliness, law and order, and an approximation of sense of financial rectitude. So if Mr. Bloomberg is no Rudy Giuliani, at least he has done okay up until now.

Now his daydreams are taking on the air of delusion. He apparently longs for the perfect gesture with which to festoon his legacy. Health for all! An end to guns for everyone, except the cops! No more violence! Maybe he even plans a campaign against spitting in public. If that last daydream plays well with the public relations team he has hired to ensure his fame for the ages, he will probably call a press conference and admonish us all to avoid public spitting. Possibly the citizenry will be advised to carry little cups or doggy bags. The mayor and his team think of everything.

Mr. Bloomberg is intent on leaving a memorable legacy. He has rumbled on against the Second Amendment, against “trans-fat,” against salt and sugar consumption, against obesity, and—for years—against tobacco, even pipes, even cigars, even the tobacco that one chews. He has taken extraordinary action against this substance, causing tobacco to be more expensive in New York City than anywhere else in America, banning it from public places such as restaurants, parks, even beaches, leaving cigarette smokers to languish on chill streets like the homeless only more reviled. Mr. Bloomberg tried to ban sugary drinks from being served in containers larger than sixteen ounces, but a state judge who had apparently been a recent reader of the United States Constitution said that bill went too far. Possibly the judge was a co-conspirator with the Tea Party movement. I know that might strike you as improbable, but I am told that at least in rural New York there are still judges conversant with the Constitution.

All this concern of the mayor for his legacy is, as I have implied, in pursuit of a delusion. Only an occasional professor of urban politics gives a rat’s hind leg for Mr. Bloomberg’s legacy. Do you remember Mayor John Lindsay’s legacy or Mayor David Dinkins’ legacy—other than during their terms the subway system was a no-man’s land, the sidewalks were dirty and dominated by muggers, and the city was headed toward bankruptcy. By some accounting theories it already was bankrupt. Mayor Edward Koch left a legacy, but it was not much. Possibly a few wry wisecracks were attributed to him, possibly an urbane witticism. That is about it.

I recall, prior to Mayor Giuliani, a common theme of conversation when I was in the city was that New York was dying. Then along came Rudy. He worked very hard, applying fundamental principles of governance to a city that thought it had progressed beyond them. The city miraculously revived. It became one of the most civilized cities in the world once again. So much for the decline of New York City, or for that matter the decline of civilization. New York bounced back, and for those who say America is in hopeless decline under President Barack Obama I say wait until 2016 or actually 2014. All is not lost.

As for Mayor Bloomberg, he ought to knock it off. This claptrap about his legacy is a fool’s errand. His latest effort to ban the public display of tobacco products will be found unconstitutional as surely as his earlier efforts to ban the large containers of disgusting soft drinks.

Mayor Bloomberg, we live in a free society. There are citizens out there that believe in it even though they side with you about the value of non-violence and good health. Yet they believe in personal freedom above all else. You would not want to be remembered as the mayor who tried to become a despot… and thanks to the Constitution failed.

- R. Emmett Tyrrell, Jr

* Imam Rauf's application for tax exempt status for the American Sufi Muslim Association (ASMA) in 1998 claimed the group had an established place of worship at 201 W. 85th St. in New York. That is a 17-floor apartment building.

Progs, please explain to me how Imam Rauf and his "sweet" wife, Daisy, manage to squeeze 450-500 praying Muslims five times each day into their one-bedroom, 800 sq. ft. imaginary mosque located at 201 W. 85th St., Apt. 10E?

Residence of Imam Rauf and Daisy Khan:  201 W. 85th St., Apt. 10E, New York, New York

Prayer room for 450-500 Muslims:  201 W. 85th St., Apt. 10E, New York, New York

They're Coming to Take Me Away, Ha-Haaa!  -  Napoleon XIV

Remember when you ran away and I got on my knees and begged you not to
leave because I'd go berserk?? Well...
You left me anyhow and then the days got worse and worse and now you see
I've gone completely out of my mind.

They're coming to take me away, ha-haaa!!
They're coming to take me away, ho-ho, hee-hee, ha-haaa
To the funny farm. Where life is beautiful all the time and I'll be
happy to see those nice young men in their clean white coats and they're
coming to take me away, ha-haaa!!!!!

You thought it was a joke and so you laughed, you laughed when I had said
that loosing you would make me flip my lid...RIGHT???
I know you laughed, I heard you laugh, you laughed you laughed and
laughed and then you left, but now you know I'm utterly mad.

They're coming to take me away, ha-haaa,
They're coming to take me away, ho-ho, hee-hee, ha-haaa.
To the happy home. With trees and flowers and chirping birds and basket
weavers who sit and smile and twiddle their thumbs and toes and they're
coming to take me away, ha-haaa!!!

I cooked your food, I cleaned your house, and this is how you pay me back
for all my kind unselfish loving deeds.. Huh??
Well you just wait, they'll find you yet and when they do they'll put you
in the ASPCA, you mangy mutt!!!

They're coming to take me away, ha-haaa.
They're coming to take me away, ho-ho, hee-hee, ha-haaa.
To the funny farm, where life is beautiful all the time and I'll be happy
to see those nice young men in their clean white coats and they're coming
to take me away, ha-haaa!!!

To the happy home, with trees and flowers and chirping birds and basket
weavers who sit and smile and twiddle their thumbs and toes and they're
coming to take me away, ha-haa!!!
To the funny farm, where life is beautiful all the time... (fade out)

Hey, buddy!
Yes, officer.
You a head?
No, but I'm catching up, ha ha ha....

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