The 30 Step Plan To Keep Islamists Happy!

M2RB:  10,000 Maniacs

How did they teach you to be just a happy puppet dancing on a string?
How do you manage to live inside this tiny stage you can't leave?
Tell me something, if the world is so insane,
is it making you sane again to let another man tug at the thread that pulls up your nodding head?

A dullard strung on the wire.
When the master's gone you hang there with your eyes and your limbs so lifeless.

A Muslim Rodney King "Can't We All Just Get Along Once We Wipe Israel Off Of The Map?"

1.  Wipe Israel off of the map.

2.  Kill all Jews.

3.  All apostates must die.

4.  All children born to a Muslim father must be raised as Muslims.

5.  All blasphemers must die.

6.  All countries of the world must execute those individuals subject to fatwas.  If they resist or refuse, they shall be considered enemies of Allah and jihad must be waged against them until they are extinct or conquered and converted to Islam, Insh'Allah.

7.  Make all infidels convert, pay jiyza, or die.  Useful Infidels get extra credit for the most conversions.  They get the most special treatment à la Lenin.

8.  Repeal the Bill of Rights.

9.  Repeal all Human Rights Conventions.

10.  Make it a universal law to blaspheme Allah or the Mohammad, Peace Be Upon Him, punishable by death.

11.  Homosexuality is prohibited by law.  Those convicted of perversion shall be executed in public.

12.  All women must be enshrouded in burq'as.

13.  All girls are forbidden from attending school.

14.  Kill all abortionists and women, who have abortions.  Yes, that includes you, St Moan of Argh! a/k/a Sandra Fluke.

Egyptian woman during Arab Spring

15. Stone all adulterers.

16.  All must eat halal.

17.  All rape victims must prove their assaults with 4 eyewitnesses or be stoned for adultery.

18.  Men may take as many as 4 wives.

19.  Men may "thigh" infants of either sex over the age of 9 lunar months, including their own children.

20.  Women must walk 5 paces behind a man although the man can lengthen or shorten the number.

21.  As the Great Ayatollah Khomeini's Resaleh Towzih al-Masael states in #2631, "It is loathsome to eat the meat of horse and mule and donkey and if somebody makes coitus with them, that is an intercourse, they become unlawful and they must be taken out of the city and sold elsewhere."  All must obey this rule.

22.  As the Great Ayatollah Khomeini's Resaleh Towzih al-Masael states in #2632, "If they have intercourse with a cow and sheep and camel their urine and dung becomes unclean and drinking their milk will also be unlawful and they must be killed and burned without delay, and the person who had intercourse with them must pay money to the owner. Further, if he had intercourse with any beast its milk becomes unlawful."  All must obey this rule. 

23.  Men can get a ṭalāq divorce women by simply saying  "I divorce you, I divorce you, I divorce you."  Upon the third, "I divorce you," the divorce is irrevocable.

 

 

24.  Women may seek a khula only after they have a menstrual period, but the court may not grant a divorce.  If she is not pregnant, the husband agrees, and she renounces all claims to the children and finances, then she may obtain a divorce.  If a woman is pregnant, she must remain married until the child is born and only then may she seek a khula.

25.  Females may only leave the home with close male relatives of the blood; otherwise,  "if you leave uncovered meat out in the alley, don't blame the cats when they come eat it," as Sheikh Taj el-Din al-Hilali, Australia's Mufti, has taught.

26.  Shari'ah law shall supplant all law.

27.  All movies, art, video, music, artistic improvisation, ancient sculptures, religious temples, synagogues, basilicas, cathedrals, artistic studios, music studios, movie studios, comedy clubs, concert halls, theaters, libraries, non-Shari'ah approved books, bookstores, lingerie shoppes, women clothing stores selling anything other than burq'as and hijabs, sex toy stores, all LGBT outlets of any kind, bars, restaurants selling alcohol, universities not limited to the study of the Qur'an, all infidel religions, and everything not permissible by the Ayatollahs, Mullahs, Muftis, Imams, Mutaween or Haredi.

28.  All fathers shall name one son Mohammed, may peace be upon him, and another, Osama, Insh'Allah.

29.  Failure to abide by this list given to us by the Most Holy so as that we may be happy will result in the most strident and strictest penalties and punishments, including death by stoning, hanging, beheading, drawing and quartering, electrocution, and crushing to the perpetrators, their children, families, friends, and supporters.  For other crimes, the punishment may include rape, sodomy, caning, removal of nails and appendages, vivisections for sale of organs, enemas of bleach and other chemicals, facial acid washes, bacterial vaginal douches, etc.  These may be performed solely, in combination with other non-lethal punishments, or in conjunction with the death penalty.

30.  Useful Infidels, all of this is done for your own happiness.  Remember, as long as we are unhappy, YOU are going to be VERY UNHAPPY.  You might as well embrace your dhimmitude, now.

This list will continue to be revised and extended as the Ayatollahs, Mullahs, Muftis, and Imams decide what fewer rights you will have.

I shall not submit.  Kill the radical, muttas.

You Happy Puppet - 10,000 Maniacs

How did they teach you to be just a happy puppet dancing on a string?
How did you learn everything that comes along with slavish funnery?
Tell me something, if the world is so insane,
is it making you sane again to let another man tug at the thread that pulls up your nodding head?

How did they teach you to be just a happy puppet dancing on a string?
How do you manage to live inside this tiny stage you can't leave?
Tell me something, if the world is so insane,
is it making you sane again to let another man tug at the thread that pulls up your nodding head?

A dullard strung on the wire.
When the master's gone you hang there with your eyes and your limbs so lifeless.

How did they teach you to be just a happy puppet dancing on a string?
How do you manage to speak, your mouth a frozen grin?

A dullard strung on the wire.
When the master's gone you hang there with your eyes and your limbs so lifeless.

Tell me something, if the world is so insane,
is it making you sane again to let another man tug at the thread that pulls up your empty wooden head?

Your hollow head, your marble eyes, your wooden hands and your metal jaw pins
all wait in limbo for the man who knows how to move you this way.