This is a story I couldn’t resist writing. Ron Paul supporters are
spraying vinegar at the sky to “kill” clouds. They’re standing in their
backyards, on their porches, and in front of their windows, angrily
aiming spray bottles filled with vinegar into the air.
How could I not write about this? If I live to be
one-hundred years old, will I ever again get the chance to write about
something so incredibly insane?
I have several friends who support Ron Paul. The aim of this piece is
not to malign or belittle all Paul supporters – just the ones who
adhere to the “if Alex Jones says it, it must be true” school of
thought. And boy, do those Paul devotees love the “chemtrails”
conspiracy theory (the belief that the contrails created by the exhaust
of aircraft engines are actually toxic “chemical trails” that the
Zionist/Illuminati/Bilderberger/alien-lizard-man secret societies are
using to poison the earth).
When not listening to Alex Jones and Jeff Rense, chemtrail believers
obsessively take photographs of the “poison trails” and “evil clouds.”
Of course, since the alien-lizard-Zionist-Bilderbergers forbid the
puppet governments of the world from admitting that chemtrails exist,
the intrepid chemtrail hunters have been stymied. Sure, they can photograph them, but they can’t stop ‘em.
Or CAN they? This year, a movement has spread like dengue
fever among chemtrail sleuths. This movement claims that chemtrails can
be “killed” with vinegar, sprayed upward from the ground. And hundreds
of chemtrail true believers are doing just that – and they’re uploading
videos to Youtube, Dailymotion, Ebaumsworld, and elsewhere, documenting
their chemtrail “kills.”
Of the hundreds of “chemtrail kill” videos, the majority are made by
self-described Ron Paul supporters. I’ve dubbed this branch of the Paul
camp the “Paulsamics” (as in “Paulsamic vinegar”). If you want to see
the sheer volume of Paulsamic videos online, just Google or
Youtube-search “chemtrails” and “vinegar.”
Below, I’ve embedded the very
best video of the lot. It’s ten minutes long. Normally, I would grab a
video of that length and edit a highlight reel. But it’s impossible to
edit this one down; it’s too damn perfect as it is. Watch as a
chemtrail-obsessed, Ron Paul-obsessed mom uses her trusty spray bottle
to combat the marauding trails, as her long-suffering teenage son is
forced to record her. Witness her great victory as she reemerges later
to find that she has “cleaned the sky.” Oh, and don’t miss the clip at
the 8-minute mark that shows the state of the family’s lawn as a result
of the constant vinegar-showers. Perhaps her gardener can explain to her
that vinegar is not lighter than air!
Now, my Ron Paul-supporting friends will probably claim that it’s
unfair to use the actions of a few hundred Paulsamics to tar the entire
Paul base. Perhaps. But I’ll say this: If two hundred Rick Perry,
Michelle Bachman, or Rick Santorum supporters converged on the
U.S./Mexican border to combat illegal immigration by spraying vinegar in
the air, I’d consider that every bit as worthy of ridicule as I do the
actions of the Paulsamics. Of course, that scenario would never happen.
It’s a simple truth that no other GOP candidate has a group of
supporters who are doing anything even remotely as lunatic as spraying
vinegar skyward to “kill” clouds. This is something totally unique to
the Paul crowd.
Several of the Paulsamics brag about the “money bombs” they’ve
coordinated for Paul, the organizing they’ve done for his campaign, the
Internet spots they’ve created, etc. This is an important segment of his
support base. As Leon Wolf at RedState so aptly observes,
“Ron Paul has built an entire political career off of pandering to the
paranoid and hate filled when he thinks no one is looking.”
And now he has the Paulsamics as a result – a small cadre of dedicated loons who spray vinegar at the sky.
Own
‘em or disown ‘em, Dr. Paul. Or do neither, while still happily
accepting their money and support. Either way, there’s no denying that
your association with the lunatic fringe is a serious stain on your
presidential campaign.
Hey – now that I think about it, you know what’s good for removing stains?
Vinegar!
These loons keep asking us why we think they are loons? Why? If you spray vinegar at the sky and think Ron Paul, who IS a nut, but was also born when FDR was serving his FIRST of 4 terms -- not exactly The Spirit of '76 we were looking for --is going to get elected President, yeah, then don't be surprised when we think you are a loon!
These loons keep asking us why we think they are loons? Why? If you spray vinegar at the sky and think Ron Paul, who IS a nut, but was also born when FDR was serving his FIRST of 4 terms -- not exactly The Spirit of '76 we were looking for --is going to get elected President, yeah, then don't be surprised when we think you are a loon!
Hmmm, judging from the shape of her lawn, I'd say vinegar is better than Round-Up.
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