Fund Your Utopia Without Me.™

30 December 2011

Ron Paul: All Aboard! Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Haaaa! Mental Wounds Still Screaming! Driving Me Insane I'm Going Off The Rails On My Crazy Train! (And I Want To Take You Along For The Ride)

Music to read by sans bat head (yeah, you knew it was coming):





"We've seen a lot of financial tyrannies from Washington in this century.  This one could take the cake!   And popping out of the cake, with a big Surprise!, will be an IRS agent with an AK-47.  ...  It will be that bad.  And it will only be the beginning.  Won't you let me send you my brand new report, Surviving The New Money?  It normally costs $50, but I want to hurry it to you, at absolutely no charge. ... I uncovered the New Money plans during my last term in the U.S. Congress., and I held the ugly new bills in my hands.  I can tell you they made --  my skin crawl!  These totalitarian bills were tinted pink and blue and brown, and blighted with holograms, diffraction gratings, metal and plastic threads and chemical alarms.  It wasn't money for a free people. ...  For just $99, get all this wealth-saving intelligence:  1) Surviving the New Money ($50); 2) The monthly Ron Paul Investment Letter ($99); 3) The monthly Ron Paul Political Report ($50); 4) The unlisted phone number of my Financial Hotline for fast breaking news ($25); 5) My manual for investors, The Ron Paul Primer.  A $224 value for $99!  ...  Please help me help you survive the new money!"


- Signed Ron Paul, circa 1993



If you call now, Ron Paul will throw in a Ronco Pocket Fisherman©, a box of Alex Jones' Whacker Jacks, and a new roll of tinfoil in your choice of red, white or blue!  Call 1.800.IAM.ANUT. 







Gold?  Silver? Oil?  9mm rounds?  Canned goods?  Prefabricated fallout shelters?  Probably all of the above.

A few points:  Unlike his newsletters, which were written in the first person and bore his name, we are told he didn't write them.  Well, he might have written them, but only because Murray Rothbard invaded his body as a snatcher and wrote them when the good doctor was sleeping between "birthin' dem babies."  Like his books, which were also written in the first person and bore his name and unlike his newsletters, which were also written in the first person and bore his name, these statements are obviously his.  Lew Rockwell did not brainjack him and force him to spout these idiocies using psychokinesis.  I mean, duh, Paul Pot's not wearing his tinfoil hat!  How could he pickup the transmissions from the Wizard of Lew behind the curtain?

Hold on!  What am I thinking???  This is a double-face palm moment!  He didn't need the tinfoil hat. Paulsamic Vinegar Mom obviously failed to kill all of the "chemtrails" and Lew'Oz was able to hijack them and circumvent the MK-ULTRA codes.  So, the barium and aluminum found in the aerosol of the chemtrail was manipulated and the mindcontrol programmes were reset so that Lew'Oz could communicate to Dr Paul through the air unseen by anyone in the room nor detected by electromagnetic fields, wireless internet, satellite signals, microwaves, cable channels and Transformers' walkie-talkies.   Look, Mum!  No tinfoil needed!

Sheesh!  Sometimes, I can be so weapons grade stupid!

Of course, if you really want a tinfoil hat-worthy eye roll, queue up the clip to the 8:40 mark of the video clip above for a chance to hear Paul Pot literally say, verbatim and without irony:

“Yeah, well, that sure is a sign that [Rick Perry] is very much involved in the international conspiracy!”

Paul might be a borderline paranoid schizophrenic, himself, or he might just be a cynical, old crank, who likes the veneration of and the money he receives from paranoid schizophrenics, but he isn't stupid.  He realises that his conspiracies do not play well with the mainstream of the American public.  Sex sells.  Crazy?  Not so much.  He knows how crazy his conspiracy theories about Bilderbergers, the New Money is gonna git ya!, the Illuminatus, blah, blah, blah, are.  He has to, doesn't he?

Anyhoo, Alex Jones initially asks him to what nefarious shenanigans might the Bilderbergers be up behind the scenes.  At first, the "good doctor' demurs and gives a typical Ron Paul non-answer answer, but if you have ever listened to Alex Jones, you would know that only Obama's Massive Radio and Internet Kill Switch can get him off of a tangent.  He asks him again and again, to the effect, "What do you think the Bildersbergers are doing?" "What is the elite up to:  are they trying to set up a dictatorship or have they so drunkenly overspent that they can't stop eating Goyim babes?"  "Don't you think that George Bush is getting ready to impose a totalitarian dictatorship upon the country just like Hitler and Stalin did?"  When he can no longer evade with his filibustered bullshit, Paul Pot offers up the old stand-by:  the Illuminatus conspiracy and then goes for the red meat ring!

George Bush is coming to take every patriotic American's guns away and, if they are surrendered, he will -- personally -- pry the weapons out of the descendant of Washington, Jefferson and Madison's cold, dead hands!!!

By the way, is it just me or does Alex Jones always sound like he is a panting dog?
We know that Ron Paul is the King of Non Sequiturs.  Just take a look at his batshit crazy debate response to Michelle Bachmann in Iowa.   Watch his flapping arms and darting eyes.  Sheesh, if his hair could have stood on end, I think that it would have:

BACHMANN:  And with all due respect to Ron Paul, I think I have never heard a more dangerous answer for American security than the one that we just heard from Ron Paul. And I’ll tell you the reason why.

And the reason — the reason — the reason why I would say that is because we know, without a shadow of a doubt, that Iran will take a nuclear weapon, they will use it to wipe our ally, Israel, off the face of the map, and they’ve stated they will use it against the United States of America.

Look no further than the Iranian constitution, which states unequivocally that their admission — their mission is to extend jihad across the world and eventually to set up a worldwide caliphate. We would be fools and knaves to ignore their purpose and their plan.

PAUL: Obviously, I would like to see a lot less nuclear weapons. I - - I don't want Iran to have a nuclear weapon. I would like to reduce them, because there would be less chance of war. But to declare war on 1.2 billion Muslims and say all Muslims are the same, this is dangerous talk. Yeah, there are some radicals, but they don't come here to kill us because we're free and prosperous. Do they go to Switzerland and Sweden? I mean, that's absurd. If you think that is the reason, we have no chance of winning this. They come here and explicitly explain it to us. The CIA has explained it to us. It said they come here and they want to do us harm because we're bombing them.

Can someone point out where she said anything about declaring war on 1.2 billion Muslims?  Does Ron Paul know that not all Muslims live in Iran?    Does Ron Paul even understand why the one, the only, the Grand Poobah himself, the Ayatollah Khomeinei, banned the group known as The Hojjatieh Mahdatieh Society* in Iran?

PAUL:  If she thinks we live in a dangerous world, she ought to think back when I was drafted in the 1962 with nuclear missiles in Cuba. And Kennedy calls Khrushchev and talks to them, and talks them out of this so we don’t have a nuclear exchange.

Yikes!  I am not a conspiracy theorist and I have poked fun at some of the Pauliacs for their well-known love of conspiracy theories with my claim to have solved the mystery of the man on the grassy knoll in Dallas on 22 November 1966, but I'm beginning to wonder if L. Ron Hubbard didn't write all of the history books and newspapers that Paul Pot has ever read.  President Kennedy didn't call Khrushchev and talk him out of a nuclear exchange.  First of all, obviously, Paul has no clue as to the fact that Khrushchev thought that Kennedy was a joke and had made a complete fool of him the previous year in Vienna.   Secondly, there was never any phone call.   In fact, while there were negotiations between emissaries, it was not dialogue that prompted Khrushchev to issue a message on Radio Moscow on 28 October advising the world that the USSR was stepping back from the precipice.  Rather, it was the United States' advisory to NATO that "the situation is growing shorter... the United States may find it necessary within a very short time in its interest and that of its fellow nations in the Western Hemisphere to take whatever military action may be necessary" in the early morning hours of 27 October, followed by the CIA's notification that missiles in Cuba were ready and the American Navy's dropping of depth charges on a Soviet submarine carrying nuclear-tipped missiles at the quarantine line that caused the shoe-banger to blink.  Following Moscow's statement, the Kennedy administration agreed to withdraw the Jupiter missiles in Turkey in exchange for the removal of the Soviet bombers from Cuba.  While it appeared that Kennedy emerged victorious at the time, it was later felt that Castro was strengthened by the crisis.  For certain, there are some liberals that do not consider JFK a brilliant president nor either the Vienna or the Cuban Missile Crisis a détente coup ... or should that be a coup détente?  :-)

 Those, who refuse to learn history and the law, are doomed to fall for Ron Paul's bullshit.

- Moi

Now, remember, this is the man, who wants to be the Commander in Chief of the United States' Military.  Shouldn't he, at least, know something about military history?  Seriously, it is embarrassing.  The Cuban Missile Crisis happened long before I was born and I know more about it than the guy, who was drafted during it.  If he wanted to use an example of a President that used dialogue to diffuse a situation with the Soviet Union, he could have used Reagan.  Of course, that would be problematic since he once compared him to Stalin.