Fund Your Utopia Without Me.™

11 October 2012

Obama: Reasons To Vote For Me!

M2RB:  "We Are The World"

There comes a time when we heed a certain call
When the world must come together as one

 We are the world, we are the children
We are the ones who make a brighter day
So let's start giving
There's a choice we're making
We're saving our own lives
It's true we'll make a better day
Just you and me

 When you're down and out, there seems no hope at all
But if you just believe there's no way we can fall
Let's realise that a change can only come
When we stand together as one

Political Cartoons by Michael Ramirez

What you Obamabots fail to comprehend is that Obama hasn't given voters a reason to re-elect him.  What is he running on?

1.  Romney is rich.

2.  I'll save Big Bird.

3.  Romney kills women with cancer.

4.  I'll raise taxes on the "evil rich" even though that might close the deficit by 4.38% - 6.25%, ceterus paribus, which is unlikely.

5.  Republicans hate women.

6.  I'll give you 4 more years of  THIS!!!

7.  Mitt Romney is a liar.

8.  Republicans will turn Medicare into a voucher programme even though I'm already doing that for 2 million of the poorest Medicare recipients!

9.  Paul Ryan is evil.

10. “I think that I’m a better speechwriter than my speechwriters. I know more about policies on any particular issue than my policy directors. And I’ll tell you right now that I’m gonna think I’m a better political director than my political director.”

11.  Romney "shoots first and aims later" (even though he was right and I lied to you for weeks)

12.  Republicans are for dirty air and dirty water

13.  My energy plan will cause electricity to "necessarily skyrocket" and I do want much higher gas prices as long as there is a "gradual adjustment."

14.  Republicans will "put y'all back in chains!"

15.  Food stamps and unemployment insurance are the best economic stimuli!

16.  Romney would fire Helicopter Ben a/k/a Osama ben Bernanke

17.  Affirmative action is necessary to guard against a ‘return to good old-fashioned racism’ and "the question is not when does [affirmative action] end, but when does it begin. … When do people of color truly get the benefits to which they are entitled?”

18.  Republicans would let Wall Street "run wild" wild cracking down on Sesame Street...even though my administration has prosecuted no one associated with the financial meltdown and 1,400 fewer major cases of financial fraud, malfeasance, deceptive practises, insider trading, etc., than the Bush administration did and our good buddy, Jon Corzine, is bundling a shitload of money for my campaign.

19. Climate change is the most important issue facing Americans so it will be the most important issue that I deal with in my second term.

20.  Republicans want to nuke the world.  I will unilaterally disarm the United States so that we can never again commit war crimes like we did in Hiroshima and Nagasaki.

21.  Mitt Romney is rich.

22.  I still believe in Hope & Change! 

23.   Republicans don't believe that there is a legal difference between violent rape and statutory rape when everyone knows that rape is different from "rape-rape"!

24.   The future must not belong to those that defame Islam and the Prophet Mohammed, which is why my administration will sign onto a worldwide treaty that will criminalise even truthful criticism of Islam and the Prophet Mohammed and my esteemed Attorney General, Eric Holder, of whom my handpicked-choice to run to Democratic National Committee, Debbie Wasserman-Schultz, has said, "objective and independent. And, make no mistake, Eric Holder is independent," will argue for and convince the Supreme Court that the First Amendment does not protect speech that offends "Muslim sensibilities."

25.  Did I mention that Mitt Romney is rich...far richer than you unwashed masses can ever hope to be under this evil, capitalist system? 

26.   I will guarantee that you have health insurance because I will force you to purchase the exact kind that my government determines is right for you or require that you pay a tax...unless you are one of the 30 million Americans, who will still be uninsured after my Obama-Because-I-Care "universal" healthcare programme is fully implemented in 2016.  Also, remember that health insurance does not mean healthcare.  We can't force doctors to continue to practise or to even treat you if they decide not to accept your type of insurance or Medicare/Medicaid.  Nevertheless, Obama-Because-I-Care will cause everyone to have access to "good, quality healthcare" and middle-class families will see their premiums fall by $2,500 every year.  C'mon, would I lie to you like Mitt Romney?

27.  Mitt Romney will rip your lady parts out with his bare hands so vote like your lady parts depend on it!  After all, feminists, the women's movement was all about focusing on the body parts of women.  It had nothing to do with jobs, incomes, education opportunities, career choices including being stay-at-home mums, etc, for women.

28.  You get 4 more years of Joe Biden and he's more comedic than Jon Stewart and just a heartbeat away from the nuclear football codes.

To be continued (and I welcome your additions)....

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