Fund Your Utopia Without Me.™

08 October 2012

George Costanza Obama


M2RB:  Cher





So ghey...







In an episode of Seinfeld, George is at a cocktail party and pigging out on shrimp cocktail.  As a result of the Georgegorgearama, one of his coworkers levels a stinging rebuke at him, which reduces him to a state of um-hum-uminum.  Unable to think of a retort, he spends the next few days reliving the event and conjuring up the "perfect" razzmatazzy comeback that will turn the evil quick-draw wit to a heap of babbling Joe Bidens.  Once he believes that he has hit upon his "Eureeeeka!" takedown, he flies around the country...chasing the evil Fat-Cat-Putdowner...waiting for that perfect moment when, at last, he, George the Magnificent, Slayer of the Slicksters, Destroyer of the Devilish, would get his chance to deliver with devastating aplomb the knockout retort to his nemesis.  (For a more detailed account of the episode, see below).











This is what Obama and his minions have been doing ever since Wednesday's Mile High Massacre.  Unfortunately for them, more than 60 million Americans witnessed the crushing and the credits had already rolled and been stored in The Newseum by the time any of their "perfect comebacks" were delivered to an audience experiencing George's "Hampton's shrinkage problem."







"I was in the pool! I was in the pool!  Ordinarily I wouldn't mind (being caught naked), but..." 
 
"But what?"
 
"Well, I just got back from swimming in the pool. And the water was cold..." 
 
"Oh, you mean... Shrinkage."
 
"Yes. Significant shrinkage." 
 
"So you feel you were shortchanged."
 
"Yes. I mean, if she thinks that's me, she's under a complete misapprehension. That was not me, Jerry. That was not me."
 
"Do women know about shrinkage?" 
 
"What do you mean, like laundry?"
 
"No..." 
 
"Like when a man goes swimming... Afterwards..." 
 
"It shrinks?" 
 
"Like a frightened turtle." 
 
"Why does it shrink?"

 "It just does." 
 
"I don't know how you guys walk around with those things." 
 
- George, Elaine and Jerry, in "The Hamptons"




George's Comeback


George Costanza has a conflict with one of his coworkers at the New York Yankees named Reilly (Joel Polis). When Reilly notices George stuffing himself with shrimp cocktail at a meeting, he remarks: "Hey George, the ocean called; they're running out of shrimp." Slow-witted George cannot think of a comeback until later, while driving to the tennis club to meet Jerry. His comeback is: "Well, the Jerk Store called, and they're running out of you." George becomes obsessed with recreating the encounter so that he can make use of his comeback.

Jerry, Elaine and Kramer disapprove of "jerk store" as a comeback mainly because "there are no jerk stores." Elaine suggests, "Your cranium called. It's got some space to rent." Jerry offers, "The zoo called. You're due back by six." Kramer finally suggests that George simply tell Reilly that he slept with his wife.

After discovering that Reilly was let go from the Yankees and now works for Firestone, George flies to Akron, Ohio, sets up a meeting, and brings a tray of shrimp just to try out the jerk store line. When he says it, however, Reilly shoots back with "What's the difference? You're their all-time best seller." George, unprepared for this ends up using Kramer's line, "Yeah? Well I had sex with your wife!" He is then told that Reilly's wife is in a coma.

During the end credits, George is seen driving away from the airport back in New York, muttering to himself that he could not think of another comeback, when he utters, "The life support machine called...", and in an ecstatic fit, whips his car into a U-turn to head back to the airport and fly back to Firestone to deliver yet another comeback, all the while yelling out "You're beat, Reilly! You just screwed yourself!"


See Also:

Propaganda Revisited:  We Wuz Robbed!  The Way We Should've Fought World War II!  I 

Propaganda Revisited:  We Wuz Robbed!  The Way We Should've Fought World War II!  II

Propaganda Revisited:  We Wuz Robbed!  The Way We Should've Fought World War II!  III

Propaganda Revisited:  We Wuz Robbed!  The Way We Should've Fought World War II!  IV

Propaganda Revisited:  We Wuz Robbed!  The Way We Should've Fought World War II!  V

Propaganda Revisited:  We Wuz Robbed!  The Way We Should've Fought World War II!  VI

Propaganda Revisited:  We Wuz Robbed!  The Way We Should've Fought World War II!  VII

Propaganda Revisited: We Wuz Robbed! The Way We Should've Fought World War II!  VIII

Propaganda Revisited: We Wuz Robbed!  The Way We Should've Fought World War II!  IX

Propaganda Revisited: We Wuz Robbed!  The Way We Should've Fought World War II!  X

More to come of Propaganda Poster Series... 

The Truth Is Not Hate Speech, Pussies!




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