By Tim Dowling
Yesterday, in tribute to the spirit of enterprise that saw Kyle McDonald swap a red paperclip, via a series of trades, for
a house, I invited your offers for this very fine
blue pencil. Thanks for your offers - we've now started trading.
The
first transaction was agreed, if not exactly completed, earlier this
morning. Chris Greaves of Toronto, who is very likely still sleeping and
therefore unaware of his good fortune, was rewarded with the blue
pencil, in exchange for a pink highlighter and a paperclip. It was by no
means the best offer I had - someone actually offered a week in an
Austrian holiday home - but Chris did follow instructions and send a
picture along with his offer to
saturdayguardian@googlemail.com.
Frankly, this was not quite the pace I'd hoped; the paper clip
represented a step backwards, although I guess the highlighter made up
for it.
Penguin posing pouch. Unworn. Fits all. Then
things started to look up, with the highlighter-and-paperclip desk set
combo snapped up in exchange for a "penguin posing pouch for men"
offered by Caroline No Last Name Supplied. The posing pouch appears to
be a one-size-fits-all affair, and I think we can safely say it's never
been worn, although to be honest I didn't ask too many questions. In any
case this product sells for £8.99 on Caroline's adult toys website,
sinnersnetwork.co.uk, and will be shipped directly to our next successful trader. The Tuscan villa edges ever nearer.
Please email a description and photograph of the item you would like to trade to
saturdayguardian@googlemail.com.
We will contact you if we'd like to take you up on the trade. Please
include a phone number where we can reach you. Don't delay - our
deadline is Friday morning, and we're still a couple of trades short of a
holiday home.
Incidentally, there have been several unkind emails
suggesting that this exercise is lame, unoriginal and well behind the
curve. I resent the implication that any of this was unintentional.
"Look What The Cat Dragged In" - Poison
I went to bed too late and got up too soon
My poor head still spinnin' from too much booze
I got a foot in the gutter a foot in the grave
I ain't seen home in the last three days
[Chorus]
Oh my god look what the cat dragged in
Livin' my life sin after sin
Night rolls up and I do it again
Oh my god, look what the cat dragged in
No tell, motel, hotel bed
If it wasn't for the sunlight I'd swear I was dead
I got a girl on the left of me
a girl on the right
I know damn well I slept with both last night
[Chorus]
I'm late for work on Monday and my boss is bitchin'
Can't get out of bed cause my head's still spinnin'
My hair's in a rat's nest, I look like hell
Half alive or half dead, I just can't tell!!
[Chorus]
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