My dear fool, I hope that you tattooed that on your forehead in the orgasmic aftermath of Obama electoral sex. It will be a wonderful reminder to your grandchildren when they are living in cardboard boxes.
Allah knows, the sex wasn't any good for you. Certainly, he didn't respect you in the morning. He wasn't then and isn't now that into you.
He used you. You were nothing more than a $5 hooker, who he took on a 'round-the-world excursion and left with a wicked case of crabs and herpes; yet, you keep making excuses for him. Soon, you will be blaming Moses or President James Polk for inventing electric stoplights for unemployment.
I bet you are one of the 80% of college graduates, who have had to move back home with Mum & Dad, that is still waiting by the phone. No money. No job. No car. No future, but Mummy does still tuck you in at night.
So, tonight, when you are laying in your twin bed with the Buzz Lightyear sheets and the Tickle-Me Elmo doll, just keep saying:
"I may be unemployed, but Hopenchange is awesome!
I may never be able to own my own home, but Obama is the one that we have been waiting for!
I know that I can't buy a Skinny Caramel Mocha Frappuccino Grande because I'm flat broke, but Socialism is so great!
I know that most of the Northeast got flooded, but Obama still lowered the sea levels!
Besides, Mummy makes me Pop-Tarts and gives me a Flintstones vitamin every morning. Plus, looking forward to premature balding, a paunch, and a full box of condoms with an expiration date of 01.01.10 isn't so bad when, at 25, I am still considered a child on my parents' health insurance policy.
Eventually, if Obama is reelected, I know he will issue an Executive Order that will force my parents to continue to pay me an allowance until I am 50. I mean, like ya know, it's only fair. Some of the kids that I graduated with have their own homes and businesses. It's not like I am demanding a lot and it's not fair that they have more than me. Anyhoo, it's the law in economically-sound countries like Italy. Me and my chums are working on a really kewl name to call ourselves...unlike in other countries.
Everyone should recognise that, whether they are gutted, salted or pickled, Kids In Parents’ Pockets Eroding Retirement Savings deserve basic marine rights and, if they aren't going to be respected, then these victims need to organise and appeal to the United Nations.
I may never be able to own my own home, but Obama is the one that we have been waiting for!
I know that I can't buy a Skinny Caramel Mocha Frappuccino Grande because I'm flat broke, but Socialism is so great!
I know that most of the Northeast got flooded, but Obama still lowered the sea levels!
Besides, Mummy makes me Pop-Tarts and gives me a Flintstones vitamin every morning. Plus, looking forward to premature balding, a paunch, and a full box of condoms with an expiration date of 01.01.10 isn't so bad when, at 25, I am still considered a child on my parents' health insurance policy.
Eventually, if Obama is reelected, I know he will issue an Executive Order that will force my parents to continue to pay me an allowance until I am 50. I mean, like ya know, it's only fair. Some of the kids that I graduated with have their own homes and businesses. It's not like I am demanding a lot and it's not fair that they have more than me. Anyhoo, it's the law in economically-sound countries like Italy. Me and my chums are working on a really kewl name to call ourselves...unlike in other countries.
In Italy, people like me, ya know, twenty- and thirty-somethings, who are on an allowance, are called "bamboccioni" - "big babies!" The utter nerve!
In Japan, grown-ups call us "parasaito shinguru." Can you believe it? They think we are parasitic singles. Unbelievable. We didn't ask to be born. If you didn't want to take care of us in the style to which we have become accustomed, then you should have aborted us. Take that, お爺さん!
Now, in Germany, they call people like us "Nesthockers," but what do you expect from NAZIS? I mean, HELLOOOOOOO....
And, just who the fuck do those British snobs think they are calling their adult children KIPPERS? After all, who calls their children fish?
KIPPERS OF THE WORLD, UNITE!
All of those racist, sexist, bigoted, homophobic, Islamophobic, xenophobic, flatearther, greedy Fascists saw "Change We Can Believe In!" and they thought Obama was talking about the near-term...ya know...like the next Recovery Summer or the 8th one or something.
Well, like I said, THEY ARE STUPID! They didn't read the fine print on the back of the signs!
Well, like I said, THEY ARE STUPID! They didn't read the fine print on the back of the signs!
'Change We Can Believe In' = 'Change We Hope We Can Believe Will Happen Before An Asteroid Hits And Destroys the Earth!'
Sheesh, 'tupid 'tard!!!
Okay, I have to go to sleep now so that I can get up early and pack my Transformers lunchbox, beg Mummy for some bus money, walk 3 miles to the bus stop, and ride for 45 minutes to my volunteer job at the local Obama 2012 reelection office.
Don't you people be fooled again. There is only one man in the world...in fact, only one man in the history of mankind...that has cared more about you than himself and that is:
Barack Hussein Obama!
O-BAA-MMM-AAA! O-BAA-MMM-AAA! O-BAA-MMM-AAA!"
Sophie: So, you voted for Obama in 2008 to prove that you weren't a racist and were a hip, kewl kat. Are you going to vote for him in 2012 to prove that you are a stupid, bloody idiot, who should just be put on the Liverpool Care Pathway a/k/a KervorkianCare?
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