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14 June 2013

Dogwhistles For Dummies

And, now for a word to Jay Leno from our Overlord:

'I've got a shout-out for Jay Leno, that old, fat, passé 'comedian.'  Leno, I have been reviewing the soon-to-be-released 'Dogwhistles for Dummies' by Chris Matthews, Martin Bashir and Al Sharpton, who are intelligent, informed, and thoughtful commentators on a real news political analysis network (which is defined as a channel that is so far up my ass that its people have leased condos in my colon).  According to these Three Wise Men, your frequent jokes against me, The Messiah, are raaaaaaaaacist!

You said that 'Americans wanted a President, who would listen to them, and now it has one:  'Big Brutha.'  Calling me 'Big Brutha' is code for 'Chicago,' which you will recall from last year's campaign, is code for 'n*gga.' 

You said that I was now 'Snoop Obama.'  Well, 'Snoop Obama' is code for 'fried chicken and watermelon.' 

You said that I should stop worrying about closing Gitmo, the symbol of the assault on American constitutional & human rights and civil liberties, and '[ship] the IRS to Guantanamo Bay.'  Well, I'll have you know that 'IRS' is code for 'n*gga' and 'ship the IRS to Guantanamo Bay' is code for 'put y'all (especially, THAT black man - ME) back in chains.'

You said that I was now running a government that was, essentially, the country's 'psycho ex-girlfriend.'  Well, 'psycho ex-girlfriend'  is code for 'Black Man in the White House.'

If you don't cease and desist from ridiculing me, I will sic US Attorney, Bill Killian, on you for 'hate speech' crimes.  Even though 'ridicule is man's most potent weapon' and my mentor, Saul Alinksy, enumerated such as Rule #5 in his Rules for Radicals, YOU CANNOT RIDICULE ME. 

So, even though the Supreme Court may have let my brother, Robert Watts, off for saying 'I have already received my draft classification as 1-A and I have got to report for my physical this Monday coming. I am not going. If they ever make me carry a rifle the first man I want to get in my sights is LBJ' before hundreds of thousands of people at an antiwar rally because it was, rightly, seen as hyperbolic, political speech, which was protected back in the BBHO Era, don't think you will be so lucky before the Court when I have you charged with hate speech and making criminal threats aimed at me.  And, before you scream 'First Amendment!' and 'a Conservative-leaning Supreme Court will never uphold the prosecution of a clearly jokifying blob out in Obama Campaign Donor Central California,' just remember:  I can do to those black-robed jokers exactly what I did to General David Petraeus.  Never forget that, pudgeboy.'

SoRo:  Readers, let's write 'Dogwhistles For Dummies' for Chris Matthews, Martin Bashir, Lawrence O'Donnell, and Al Sharpton.  Think of words or phrases that are, clearly in the eyes of Obama and the Obama Firsters, code for something to do with race.

'States' rights' is code for 'blacks hanging from trees.'

Opposition to Obamacare: 'You oppose Obamacare because you are a racist and want black people to die quickly!'

One more example:  'Obama plays too much golf.'  


As you will see, talking about Obama playing 'golf' is racist.  The following convo was had between two of the would-be authors of a real 'Dogwhistles For Dummies,'  Lawrence O'Donnell & Martin Bashir, whose dogwhistle-dar must have been running on very weak batteries that day because even he didn't hear what O'Donnell did although he, eventually, falls in line.  The debate was over the following statements made by Senator Mitch McConnell in a speech:

'For four years, Barack Obama has been running from the nation’s problems, he hasn’t been working to earn re-election. He has been working to earn a spot on the PGA Tour.'

Here goes the debate:

Lawrence O’Donnell:  'Well, we know exactly what he’s trying to do there. He is trying to align to Tiger Woods and surely, the — lifestyle of Tiger Woods with Barack Obama.' 

Martin Bashir:  'Lawrence — don’t you think — don’t you think that what he’s really trying to do is to suggest that the president is not paying attention to the central issues that come with the responsibility he has?  Is he really — Mitch McConnell really making a connection with Tiger Woods who, of course, has become infamous for chasing various cocktail waitresses around Las Vegas and so on?' 

O'Donnell:  'Martin, there are many, many, many rhetorical choices you can make at any point in any speech to make whatever point up want to make. If he wanted to make the point that you just suggested and I think he does want to make that point, they had a menu of a minimum of ten different kinds of images that they could have raised. And I promise you, the speech writers went through, rejecting three or four before they land order that one. That’s the one they want for a very deliberate reason. That — there’s — these people reach for every single possible racial double entendre they can find in every one of these speeches.' 

Bashir:  'You really believe that about Mitch McConnell?' 

O'Donnell:  'I know these people are insensitive. I know the speechwriters are insensitive. I know the way they work. They do not have the same sensitivity level that other speechwriters do. But when you get to the Tiger Woods reference, there were people in the speech writing room, I know this, without a shadow of a doubt, who said wait a minute, do we really want to go there?  'Beyond a shadow of a doubt'?  Then it must be true.  Do we really want to go to Tiger Woods and the vote in the room was yes, we do. Mitch McConnell agreed to do it.' 

Bashir:   'Wow. Things are getting lower and lower by the day.'


Thus:  'Golf' is code for a 'lazy, shiftless, promiscuous black man, who preys on white women and lives in the White House.'

Got it?

One last thing, dogwhistles that only by the race-pimping lunatic fringe atop the Progressive surrey a/k/a Dowderisations (cf, Maureen Dowd: Congressman Joe Wilson actually said 'You lie, BOY!'  If you didn't hear 'boy,' it's because of your own racism and white privilege) should be marked as Dowderisms and will get their own chapter).

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