She's Baaaaack: Thanks, Obama

M2RB:  Kalai

I've waited my whole life to feel this blessed
Now I'm comparing the dream to the way it is
And everybody's looking there very best
Remembering times when they were just like this
My imagination never felt so clear
So no I know this is for real

 

 (Obama sat out to be a uniter, but he has become a divider; yet, he has united us.)

You've spent my lunch money, my allowance, my inheritance, 35 years of future paycheques, my retirement, and the monies in the Social Security and Medicare Trust Funds.

You borrow 40 cents out of every dollar that you spend.  You run trillion dollar deficits year after year and you lie by saying that those deficits can disappear by merely taxing the "evil rich."

When I am 29, my payroll taxes alone will be 17% just to pay for the promises that you and generations of politicians before you made relative to Social Security and Medicare.  Oh, and just for the privilege of being an American, I got an invoice showing that my personal share of the national debt is now $218,676.00 AND I have to always carry health insurance of a kind designed and decided upon by a bunch of apparatchiks in Washington, DC.  

Here's the kicker, Mr President:  I am 10 years old.  I didn't get a say in any of this.  Ever heard of "taxation-without-representation"?  If not, might I suggest that you study the history of the American Revolution?  Who's representing me?  Oh, and don't give me any of that malarkey about "doing it for the children"!  Some of us kids aren't stupid.  We know for whom you are doing it:  Your union constituents.  One of them said it quite well once, "When school children start paying union dues, that's when I'll start representing the interests of children."

All throughout your campaign, you said that government, especially men, should never come between a woman and her doctor.  Well, what the hell do you think Obamacare will do to THIS soon-to-be woman?    Keep your laws out and off of my body, wallet, bedroom, bathroom, medicine cabinet, larder, kitchen,  refrigerator, living room, library, energy sources, autos, financial transactions, banking, medical care, health insurance, business, salt shaker, caloric intake and trans-fat content, light bulbs, showerhead, toilets, etc.   Until then, be prepared to have my GI Jane Trusty Rusty gut you  from sternum to pelvis and then  give you a mani, pedi, and decapi...figuratively speakin...until I am old enough to vote and make  campaign donations, of course.                                                                                    

Are we clear?

If you love women, quit being a patriarchal snob.  We are quite capable of making our own health, financial, business, and other decisions without you and your apparatchiks' input.  Thank you very much.

Your Little Miss Big & Strong Can't Be Wrong wife, who holds no elected position, has deigned to tell us kids what we should be allowed to eat and drink.  She makes me eat bloody kale!  Who knew that fried mystery chicken nuggets with a side of cretinous "Fried Tater Tots, Honeychile!" gets the FLOTUS HealthyChoice® Seal of Approval, but a sliced turkey on whole wheat with lettuce and tomato (hold mayo) with a side of apple wedges are VERBOTTEN!!!

By the way, love, LoVe, LOVE, the Irma Grese-esque USDA Food Police uniforms.  It's not often that one can eat while envisaging scenes from Schindler's List, The Pianist, The Round Up, Au Revoir Mes Enfants, Bent, Sarah's Key, and Voices of the Children.  In keeping with the them, might I suggest that placards be placed in the dining rooms that read:

"Nutrition is NOT a private matter."

After all, it worked out so well for the Hitler Jugend.  You might also think about adding "Arbeit macht frei" over every entrance way.

If you don't mind, could you tell me where Empress Obama received her MSCN, DCN, MSPH, PhD-NU or PhD-MNS?   I only ask because Ann Romney's credentials were demanded whenever she spoke about the economic conditions in the country from her own experiences and from those that she had heard by listening to thousands of people across the country.  "Intellectuals" like you and your bootlickers in the MSM dismissed her as "unqualified" to speak on the subject.  Her knowledge was dismissed because she didn't have a sheepskin from an Ivy League school (she actually did).  Sooooooooooooo, what's good for the Richie Rich Romneys is also good for the King and Queen of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.   So, just where did she get those degrees that give her the knowledge  to tell us what to eat.  

Slyly, I ask, "From the same place that you received your degrees in economics, finance, monetary policy, accounting, medicine, surgery, palliative care, tonsillectomies, geology, technology, computers, green energy, physics, oil and gas exploration and production, geography, WWII history, etc.?"  Thought so.

Your thuggish cronies made me join a union to babysit and deliver newspapers.  They couldn't give a shit (don't tell Mum that I used a dirty word.  Soap sucks!) about me, but they sure do love those bucks that Osama ben Bernanke is working around the clock feverishly devaluing.  Hey, I did my Social Studies project on the Weimar Republic!  Would you like me to send it to you?  You could probably learn something.  I got a good, solid A+. 

Speaking of work.  Everyone should have the right to work.  Anything else is just an antiquated form of master over worker/slave/peon/union dues payer.  The right to work is a fundamental right and one that is much more so than your right to abort a 9 month-old foetus or marry your cat.  I shouldn't have to join a union to work.  Oh, and can you people PLEASE stop shutting down lemonade stands and bake sales?  We live in a Republic, not Nazi Germany.

My Mum and Pop had to use the contents of my piggy bank (I keep one not because I am especially fond of oinkers, but because I know that it pisses of your buds in the Muslim Brotherhood and other Islamists organisations), saving account AND college fund in order to save our house that was underwater -- no, not from Frankenstorm Sandy, but from your friends at Goldman-Sachs, who you refuse to prosecute.  What's up with that, dude?  -- because of the EPIC FAIL of your Obamanomics JobsaPalooza. 

All of my life, I wanted to go to Punahou Academy, then to Columbia and Harvard...just like you.  But, we're broke, I'm white, I neither choom nor blow, but I can write.  I wrote this for you.  Perhaps, it will give me a leg up at Punahou.

Ode to Obama, The Creator of "Roof Hits"

Dealer Ray, brightens my day
Every morning you greet me
With blow so white
Pakalolo ready to light
You look happy to meet me

Blossoms of lolo may you bloom and grow
Bloom and choom forever

Snowy drifts cut into lines

Forever there for me to blow

Pakalolo & Mama Coco
Bless my homeland forever
Pakalolo & Mama Coco
Every morning you greet me
Blow so white

Choom ready to light
You look happy to meet me

Blossoms of lolo may you bloom and grow
Bloom and choom forever
Pakalolo & Mama Coco
Bless my homeland forever

Yeah, I know.  It sucks and they probably haven't even ever heard of Edelweiss.  I'll be attending some sucky-suck public school where I'll be lucky if I don't have to read the lesson plan to the illiterate union, public school teacher.  I bet she was one of the "saved or created" jobs from the Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious Stimulus Act of 2009.  Don't worry.  We won't have a Teacher Spelling Bee.   We'd still have 5 hours and 55 minutes left to fill.  Hey, maybe, we can quiz the teachers on how many Marines does it take to cause Guam to capsize! 

During your Second Term, do you think that you could finally bring an end to the Democrats as being the Party of Secession, Slavery, Segregation, Suffragism- Not No, But Hell No!, Sexualisation, Separatism, Surrender, and Submissal?  Too bad Balkanisation doesn't begin with a "S," but it would have worked in your "Bain, Big Bird, Binders for of Women, Birth Control, Bayonets, B+" campaign.   You reduced my health to abortion and  birth control.   You reduced me, a female, to the sum of my sexualised parts.  Is this what my grandmum burned her bra for 40 years ago?  How can womyn running around dressed as vaginas call themselves feminists?  I've been told that, because of the women's rights movement, I could grow up to be the first female President of the United States.  I doubt it.  It looks more likely that I could be the pink, fuzzy, back-up vaginas for the male Democrat running for President.  As long as Bill Clinton, Chris Dodd, John Edwards, and the late Teddy Kennedy aren't involved, I'll probably won't have my pink vajayjay suit penetrated with swizzle sticks, pretzels and cigars.

In her speech at the DNC, she claimed that she didn’t learn of it until “two decades” after she began working at the company. LIE!  You can learn all about this "feminist heroine" here. 

She learned of the pay disparity by 1992, as excerpts from her deposition, filed in the Supreme Court as pages 228-241 of the Joint Appendix, make clear., but she only filed a legal complaint over it in 1998.  She let the statute of limitations expire. 

What President Obama did was to give womyn like Ms Ledbetter, who know for years and years and years and do NOTHING about pay disparity, to ignore the 180 time period.  Under Obama's new law, they can know about it for 20 years, do nothing, retire and then sue.   If you are in an automobile accident, in most states, you have 1 year to file suit against the person that has damaged your property and caused you physical harm.  But, if you are Ms Ledbetter, you can work for a company for 20 years, know that you aren't being paid the same, and then go and sue them to get damages.  Wow!  I bet trial lawyers are going to put Lilly on retainer.  James Carville used to say, "If you drag a hundred dollar bill through a trailer park..."  Now, we can just drag Lilly through the Welcome New Members Night at the Canasta Club.  She'll sign 'em up!

 

So, you won reelection.  Colour me unimpressed.  Last year, I got a Barack Obama doll that said "Hope & Change" when you pulled the string in the back.  Ha!  My Winter Solstice Gift Swapee at school got a signed photo of Ronald Reagan, Margaret Thatcher, Pope John Paul II, and Lech Walesa.  As history rolls on, the Fab Four will still be giants and you will become a footnote.  Undoubtedly, I'm sure she was disappointed.  To tell you the truth, so was I...until Wednesday, 7 November 2012.  You see, I took "Hope & Change Obama" off the shelf in the closet and out of the box.  As an aside, dude, you really need to do something with soap and cologne.  You don't want your initials to start standing for something else, ya know?  Anyhoo, I laid you down on the driveway and ran you over with my bike until, let me be clear, there was NOTHING left except a speech box, a string, and a ring.  Come to think of it.  It was sort of a rudimentary TelePrompTer®!

   LET ME BE CLEAR, IT WAS ABSOLUTELY, POSITIVELY PUURRRFECT!

I did wish to congratulate you on, once again, making history!  You became the very first President in the history of the United States of America to win reelection with fewer votes than you won in your election to the office originally.

8,247,209 Americans threw off the Hoax and Chains!!!

"If ye, the 61,209,778 people, who voted for Obama and love other people's wealth better than liberty, the tranquility of servitude better than the animating contest of freedom, go home from us in peace.  We ask not your counsels or your arms.  Crouch down and lick the hands which feed you.  May your chains set lightly upon you, and may posterity forget that you were our countrymen."

PS:  Mum says it is time for me to go to bed.  So, consider yourself lucky.  I was just getting ready to go all Chris Stevens-Sean Smith-Ty Woods-Glenn Dougherty on you.

Divide Me - Kalai


I've waited my whole life to feel this blessed
Now I'm comparing the dream to the way it is
And everybody's looking there very best
Remembering times when they were just like this
My imagination never felt so clear
So no I know this is for real

Your eyes divide me
And your ways control my every mood
And your face distracts my confidence in standing
And I can't move so I sing
Doo da doo da doo

Now I can't believe I'm here with you
Living some fantasy romance
And everybody's saying you've got to take a chance

But something's wrong
I feel so still
Then it cuts right through me
When you say you will

Your eyes divide me
And your ways control my every mood
Your face distracts my confidence in standing
And I can't move, No I can't move so I sing
Doo da doo da doo