Congressman Steve Stockman put on a troll de force yesterday. Because we are a country founded, in part, on the principle that there is to be equality under the law. Building on this well-established, well-founded, and, at least until recently, universal principle, Stockman has introduced a bill that would give taxpayers the right to use the same excuses employed by the IRS, as well as those utilised by other politicians, who find themselves in scandals of their own. The new bill, titled “The Dog Ate My Tax Receipts Act,” would allow taxpayers to use any of the following ten reasons as a positive defense during an audit:
1. The dog ate my tax receipts
2. Convenient, unexplained, miscellaneous computer malfunction
3. Traded documents for five terrorists
4. Burned for warmth while lost in the Yukon
5. Left on table in Hillary’s Book Room
6. Received water damage in the trunk of Ted Kennedy’s car
7. Forgot in gun case sold to Mexican drug lords
8. Forced to recycle by municipal Green Czar
9. Was short on toilet paper while camping
10. At this point, what difference does it make?
Along with the text of his bill, Stockman issued the following statement:
'The United States was founded on the belief government is subservient and accountable to the people. Taxpayers shouldn’t be expected to follow laws the Obama administration refuses to follow themselves. Taxpayers should be allowed to offer the same flimsy, obviously made-up excuses the Obama administration uses.'
I noticed that he had forgotten one:
11. My President ate the dog that ate my tax receipts.