Comrade Alan Grayson Survives Assassination Attempt!

By Opiate of the People

11 March 2012

Comrade Alan Grayson, hero of Occupy Wall Street, narrowly survived an assassination attempt last Saturday when hateful, racist conspirators representing the one-percent, the Koch Brothers and Big Oil sent a large passenger bus filled with hostages thru an intersection just as Grayson was running a red light with his Mercedes. Comrade Grayson was unhurt and two of the bus passengers hostages suffered minor injuries. Police at the scene issued a summons to one of the parties involved and gave it to Grayson to deliver to the proper recipient.

At the time of the attack, Comrade Grayson was on his way to a critical planning session with other high-level strategists, such as Robert F Kennedy Jr and Curb Your Enthusiasm star Cheryl Hines, to finalise blueprints to re-take control of the People's House from the Koch-backed Rethuglican Party, who stole it in 2010. The villainous Rethuglican traitors have been exposed recently in the People's Media for their amateur attempt to wage war on women by punishing them all with babies. Their secret nefarious plot was exposed and averted only because of a Fluke.

It is believed that moles from the far-right organisation were working undercover within party headquarters and forwarded Grayson's planned route to the culprits. Unconfirmed reports say these moles were also blackmailing participants at the penthouse fundraiser secret conference demanding $1,000 each to allow them to enter the building. Sources suggest that these agents escaped and are hiding out with the one-armed man, who killed OJ Simpson's wife, and will undoubtedly never be found.

Grayson survived thanks to the sound protection provided by his GM-built all-electric Mercedes -- made possible only because Obama bailed out the auto companies in 2008 after George W Bush intentionally bankrupted them. He will live on to fight the forces of hate in this mean country.

Comrade Grayson displays the qualities all great leaders must possess: the full-speed-ahead, damn-the-busses, don't-bother-me-with-facts, I've-got-to-get-to-that-thousand-buck-a-plate-fundraiser-before-all-the-hors d'oeuvres-are-gone determination to serve the People no matter what! For that, we salute him. If we had more leaders like Comrade Grayson, eventually we would have less leaders like Comrade Grayson the world would be a different place. For one thing, there would be fewer busses.

 He was heard yelling, "They want me to die quickly!"

Let us all follow Comrade Grayson's lead and we will once again Triumph to Victory in 2012 2014!

Exit Question to Screw  With the Minds of Progs:

Two women are in a car in Florida. Both are 5 months pregnant. The driver, who plans to keep her baby, is driving her friend to an abortion clinic to have an abortion. A drunk Alan Grayson runs a red light and hits the car in which both women are riding. Both women survive. Both foetuses are aborted naturally.

Fla. Stat. Ann. § 316.193  defines DUI manslaughter to include the death of an unborn quick child.

Should Alan Grayson be charged with one or two counts of DUI manslaughter? 

 Remember, pro-aborts, one woman was on her way to kill her "collection of cells."