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29 October 2011

How A "REAL" Grassroots Movement Springs Up On the Left

By:  Guest1776rcp   (I've added a few and you can make suggestions too.  Leave in the comment sections).

A comedy sketch from the headlines: Imagining how it all went down:


Van Jones: Okay, ideas anybody.

Professor #1: I think I could get some of my hippie students and their friends to protest Wall St.

Professor #2: Great idea, I'm going to text some of my students from my iPhone and tell them they should be protesting evil corporations whose products are made in China and sell stock on Wall St.

Van Jones: Excellent!

Andy Stern: I can get some of my people there.

Trumpka: Me too.

ACORN: We'll have our people there, they might get rowdy and create a mess but they'll be there shilling for Obama.

Sam Williams: Well, we at the Working Families Party have decided to pay $350-650 per week to protest and camp down at Zuccotti.   We believe that they can be trusted to not get too rowdy since they know that we will dock their pay for any damages we have to repay.  They are on their own, however, if they get arrested.


JournoList: Hold back boys we wouldn't want it to look like astroturf.

Bertha Lewis:  Don't worry.  We aren't all gonna wear billboards and some of us are gone to get our braid dos redoed and maybe dyed so that no one will recognise us.

Debbie Dolberman: Once the MSM sets the narrative about how spontaneous and grassroots the OWS crowd has sprung up we could get Nancy and Barack to comment on it.

Nancy Pelosi: Okay. Then, I'll remind them that when Bush got his across-the-board tax cuts for the rich and the economy rebounded with record low unemployment rates, it  only meant that wealthy employers were getting even wealthier at the expense of the underpaid  working class.  I'll also tell them to say, that if we don't get Obama's Save His Job and Bring Back My Speakership Act of 2011, we will have a Greatest Great Depression and that every month that we do not have an economic recovery package 500 million Americans will lose their jobs.

Trumpka: That’s the cue for us to come in Andy.

Van Jones: Excellent. A very productive meeting on this one. We wouldn't want another CBS incident. Has anyone admonished CBS and that reporter yet?

Nancy Pelosi: My husband and I need a distraction

Al Sharpton: When will we tell them it should be about redistributing the money?

Bill Keller: I'll start setting the narrative that the Tea Party is finished.

Charlie Rose: I'll coincide with that and and call OWS a growing phenomenon.

JournoList: Once all that's rolling we'll keep pounding the talking points.

Harry: I'll prevent the Senate from voting on Barack's jobs Bill while all this is going on. I'll need help blaming Republicans since the bi-partisan support is against us.

JournoList: No problem and no different than business as usual.

Al Sharpton: Money...when will we tell them it should be about redistributing the money?

David Axelrod: Al follow my cue and then organize. Barack will say "Republicans Don't Want A Place Where People "No Matter What They Look Like" Can Succeed”

Nancy Pelosi: I will stir up their passions with stuff like they’re voting to let women die on the floor.

JournoList: Great idea, Nancy. That one helps get out the feminist vote every time. Women like "shiny things".

Whoopi: I can tell women George Bush er....Republicans want to steal their uteruses.

Sean Penn: Garofalo and the rest of us will set the meme the Tea Party is the "Get The N-Word Out Of The White House Party".

Bill Maher: Excellent, Sean! Most excellent! I will call Cain and Republicans racist and poke fun at them.

Al Sharpton: I will add to the meme: "We Will Get The Jobs Bill Done In The Street".

David Axelrod: Excellent guys. The WH messaging will be OWS "Will Be An Issue In This Campaign".

Valerie Jarret: We need to crush the idea MLK would have supported Cain. Barrack will tell the people at the ceremony that MLK Jr. Would Have Supported Occupy Wall Street.

Lawrence O’Donnell: I will imply a brilliant man like Cain should have been drafted, or perhaps volunteered to be considered a patriot  - rather than work for the Navy in a private capacity on rocket science where the Navy wanted him solving problems on an important project. I can also push the meme that he’s an Uncle Tom for thinking for himself and unlike 90%+ of African Americans he’s a traitor to his own race. I will do this from atop my white horse. Perhaps MSNBC should hire Al to provide me cover.

Hank Johnson: I'll tell them that all of the black corpses (or would that be corps because the Smartest Person in the Room says that the Marines are a Corpse and they don't look dead to me?) that Cynthia McKinney said were in the Louisiana Swamps after being executed by George Bush and Darth Cheney and eventually wound up hanging from trees, according to Andre Carson, will eventually cause Guam to capsize because "millionaires and billionaires" want to cause homelessness and unemployment so that they can pay their Chamoru maids and houseboys less.

Al Sharpton: That’s what I do, I know how to crack the whip on those who dare leave the Democrat plantation. How much are they going to pay me?

Van Jones: Shut up, Al! One last thing. Can you JournoList within the press corpse please keep ignoring the Fast and Furious scandal.

WH Press Corpse: Indeed!

JournoList: We concur, and don’t worry Nancy. Tell your husband too.

David Axelrod: Once all this is rolling Barack will hop on the bus and hit the road with the standard organizing talking points like “GOP Wants "Dirtier Air, Dirtier Water, Less People With Health Insurance”.

Martin Bashir: David, I’ll follow your lead with “Cain Doesn't Want To Be "Associated With African-Americans.”

Comrade Brzezinski: I‘d suggest a Bolshevik type appraoch like “Make Rich Known Publicly To Pressure Them To Give Back”

Eugene Robinson: I’ll call my meme "Defend Wall Street" and go with the theme is not likely to be a winning campaign slogan in 2012. For Republicans, this is an obvious problem.


Al Sharpton: But resist, we much… we must… and we will much… about… that… be committed until everyone has equal stuff in their cribs!

Bernie Sanders: We Need To Address The Issue Of The Rich Getting Richer

Lawrence O’Donnell:  I'd like to add Republicans still don't have a jobs plan, they’ve never had a jobs plan because Republicans are lying liars that lie even when lying about lying that’s the kind of liars the lying liars are.

Rachel Maddow:  I’ll push this one “Republicans vote against employing more teachers and first responders” and since we believe the American people are too stupid to figure out the locals already pay taxes to cover those type of things in their cities and states.

Van Jones:  Very good, Rachel.

Al Franken: Also remember people, we are good enough, smart enough and gosh darn it, people like us. We are wonderful people.....just ask us.

David Plouffe:  I'll have Michelle Obama tell Americans that the GOP will strip them of all of their privacy rights to things like their healthcare records, destroy their security by cutting the military budget by 90%, take away their First Amendment rights to Free Speech through speech codes and political correctness, and ban the right to worship freely and openly or even wear a cross or Star of David to a public school.  She will tell them that the GOP will remove every cross and Star of David from Arlington National Cemetery, and all other national cemeteries and war memorials.  Only Muslim footbaths will be allowed on public property.  That should really do it.  

By the way, Ms Tchen, you really should leave so that you can get to Harry Winston's in New York and pick up the First Lady's bracelets for her "Power to the 99%" gala tonight to raise money to pay for the construction of little red schoolhouses across the country.

Rachel Maddow:   I’ll also go with Republicans think poor people are scam artists.

David Axelrod: Excellent Barack will use the standard Alinsky playbook on his bus tour which we can film for campaign ads. Barack will also tell the people not to believe their lying eyes and that all the choices he made were the right ones. I’ll try and keep a straight face and plant a seed that the election is going to be a close one.

Debbie Dolberman: I will project all our demagoguery onto Republicans and I will continue to tell Americans that we actually have not required in Obamacare that people carry health insurance. 

E.J. Dionne: I’ll add that: Operation Wall Street Is "Disciplined," Has "Wonderful Signs"

Eugene Robinson: I’ll keep pounding the following talking point “GOP Wants to Deprive Poor & Middle Class”

Michael Moore: Will Barrack be using the styrofoam columns again? I will make a documentary of all this with a similar name as my Fifth but I’ll call this one  "Bowling for Columnlike."

Van Jones: Very productive people. I mean that..

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