Report: Chinese Police Rescue "Fantasy Girl" ... Still "Non-Responsive," But Back At Work

M2RB:  .38 Special, live at Sturgis

Lately, I'm learnin'
That so many yearnings are never to be
The childhood illusions
Are merely delusions of a girl that I see

In my mind's eye,
I see clearly a vision of how it could be

Me and my fantasy girl
Hold on to me
Be my fantasy girl
Don't set me free

Man's Fantasy Girl*:

Big knockers, flexible, adventurous, silent, comes with a lifetime warranty, and is "resuscitatable" with a tyre pump in the event of "accidents"

A team of 18 police officers was sent to rescue a 'drowning woman' from a Chinese river - only to find it was a sex doll.

Police in Shandong received a call reporting that a body had been seen floating in one of the province's rivers.

The 18 officers worked frantically for 40 minutes to rescue what looked like a lady in distress, reports RocketNews24.com, quoting Chinese language news site Sohu.

"So,  honey, what did you do, today??? ...."

A 1,000-strong crowd gathered to watch the heroic rescue attempt, blocking traffic and preventing firefighters and rescue officials from reaching the scene.

But when officers finally managed to bring the 'body' ashore they discovered it was only a discarded inflatable doll.

Embarrassed mothers reportedly covered their children's faces and hurried them away from the scene before they could ask awkward questions.


UPDATE:  I understand that her estranged husband, an Egyptian Muslim, happened to be in town when he heard about her demise. Fortunately for him, the Egyptian Embassy intervened and he was allowed to have sex with her for 6 hours before recycling claimed the remains.

 

* Achtung, womyn!  If you are new here, do NOT email me bitching and complaining that you are "offended" by this post and my alleged misogyny or sexism.  I AM a heterosexual woman with no time for FemiNazis.  I'm offended by you being offended, as well as your repeated attempts to "speak for me."   If you are upset, good...burn a bra, swear off deodorant and razors, wear only "comfortable shoes" ... whatever ... but stop taking yourselves so seriously.  No one else does.

Fantasy Girl - 38 Special

Lately I'm learnin'
That so many yearnings are never to be
The childhood illusions
Are merely delusions of a girl that I see

In my mind's eye
I see clearly a vision of how it could be

Me and my fantasy girl
Hold on to me
Be my fantasy girl
Don't set me free

Now I've had my share
But sometimes I swear that I've had me enough
You end up in sorrow
Broken tomorrows, love can be tough

But my mind's eye
Sees a vision of true love and how it should be

Me and my fantasy girl
Hold on to me
Be my fantasy girl
Don't set me free
Be my fantasy

Yeah, yeah, yeah
I see clearly a vision of how it could be, yeah
Be my fantasy
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah

Be my fantasy girl
Hold on to me
You're my fantasy girl
Don't set me free

Be my fantasy girl
Hold on to me
You're my fantasy girl
Don't set me free, yeah
From this fantasy